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Answering questions re: hairloss

Discussion in 'Women's General Hair Loss Discussions' started by patient_flower, Mar 16, 2017.

  1. patient_flower

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    Hello beautiful ladies,

    Just wanted to get a thread started regarding how to respond when others ask about hair loss. What do you say when it becomes noticeable and you are asked about it? What do you say or not say when you make a wig or topper transition? Do you have a go-to response for these situations?


    A little personal background: right now I hold down a professional office job and I get a lot of questions because my hair is EVERYWHERE! It's usually all over my back as well as my chair, conference room. Our office is carpeted and it makes little tumbleweeds.

    I don't really care about that stuff but I have been getting a lot of questions like "are you sick? What's wrong?" And I KNOW it is regarding my hair loss. There is no professional way for me to style it anymore, and I look unpolished. I know if I was 42 and my scalp was showing it might not be as big of a deal but I'm 24 and so people ask whether bluntly or indirectly.
     
  2. Lily

    Lily Senior Member

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    I remember Dear Abby's suggested answer to personal questions such as these - "why do you need to know." I was never asked these questions but in my case (Androgenetic Alopecia starting in perimenopause) a noncommittal response could have been "autoimmune issue." And then "why do you ask?"
     
  3. Ccc

    Ccc Member

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    I've found the majority of people don't get it or don't have any empathy so I've stopped explaining myself to close family and friends and I just do what makes me feel better. I will only discuss it with my partner now as I found myself getting mad at ignorant comments like "my hair falls out too". I was trying to justify why I was feeling so bad, and when I thought I'd explained.. people brushed it off like it was nothing. I just don't explain myself now and feel loads better. Speaking to someone that understands is best.
     
  4. patient_flower

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    Thank you, ladies. I'm still navigating this whole hair loss journey. 2 years this April and I'm still learning self acceptance/how to respond.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Hi lily,

    If you dont mind me asking, when you started wearing hair was it noticeable? Did anyone ask you questions/ did you answer? I thought I had read in another thread that you started with a clip in topper first then a bonded topper?

    I'm planning my topper transition now! What's nice is my fiance is perfectly fine with it as long as it makes me happy :) as for work, I thought I would go on vacation for a week then come back with my topper. I haven't decided yet! I figure, people change their hair style radically with cuts and coloring, so why should this be any different? But I'm still a little nervous about it. Still planning my hair wearing debut!
     
  5. Lily

    Lily Senior Member

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    Yes, it was quite a change when I wore my topper for the first time. I told a partial truth - that I had changed to a stylist who did a much better job of cutting and coloring my hair. No one pressed me for anymore - in retrospect I wish I had been more truthful and said Mother Nature wasn't being very kind to my hair so I was helping her out but perhaps that would have brought more attention to my hair. I recently got new toppers (larger base since my hair loss continues) with longer hair so have had to tap dance around the issue again. My story this time is that I got extensions until my own hair grows out, again partially true. My bio hair not covered by the topper will grow out and the topper is sort of an extension of my own hair. This new topper has generated a lot more interest than that first topper years ago I think because other ladies would like to believe they could achieve the same thing with extensions. I'll be glad when interest dies down.

    i resisted bonding but really had no choice as my bio hair became to thin to securely clip. But now I'm very happy - obviously I wear the topper 24/7 and it's like my own hair. No one (even me - I don't look in the mirror when the stylist takes it off) sees me w/o hair except her.

    If iyou use "extensions" to explain the difference read up on it. I've been asked lots of questions and didn't have all the answers. I'll have to better educate myself at my next appointment.

    Good luck and keep us posted on how it goes for you.
     
  6. Silvi

    Silvi Member

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    hello patient Flower and Lily I am about to order my first topper as well..I have been searching for it for a while...I have an appointment at a salon today but I am very interested in this toppers I saw online first on youtube, i kind of thing the part looks very real...highlinewigs.com...what do you guys think? Is there a better place where I can buy a topper? The place where I am going today has the foella brand. Patient flower I am learning about self acceptance as well, patience and more, I have to say you are very lucky with the fiance you have, my husband also supports me emotionally and says its only money when I tell him I am worried about spending money in hair pieces. Thank you Patient Flower, you seem to take things really well, its inspiring.
     
  7. Chasrogers01

    Chasrogers01 Member

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    Lilly, lol "You'll be glad when interest dies down!" I think it's great that women are envious in a good way of your hair. I don't like to draw attention to myself either. It's almost ironic that the one thing we want people to ignore is the focus when it looks really good.
     
  8. Lily

    Lily Senior Member

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    Silvi - you might want to join heralopecia.com - there are some topper wearers there, also a forum on salon/etailer recommendations that you can look through as well as ask about specific suppliers. Everyone there "wears hair" and is very helpful. It's hard to blend a topper - I suggest you get one that covers your bio hair. Easier that way.
     

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