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Boyfriend insecurities

Discussion in 'Teens and Twenties Alopecians' started by uhmeeliabedelia, Oct 4, 2013.

  1. Hey everyone, this is my first post on here so please be patient with me haha. I just wanted to see if anyone else is able to relate to what I'm feeling right now. I've almost been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now, when I met him I didn't even know what alopecia was. Long story short I've been diagnosed with androgenic alopecia, and I now have a shaved head. He's really been good about my hair loss, but I just can't seem to get over some insecurities. There'll be times when I seriously contemplate breaking up with him because of certain issues, and I don't. Only because I don't think anyone else will be able to accept me and think I'm beautiful without hair. This is wrong, because it really stops me from standing up for myself in certain things in our relationship because I think I can't get anyone else. PLEASE HELP!
     
  2. Nickibee

    Nickibee Guest

    You should be yourself 100% of the time with hair or not. I have severe Alopecia Areata, and I have never shown my boyfriend but he knows about it. He doesn't treat me any different, and combine that with my 3/4 wig that blends in with the little hair I have left makes me fell a 1000 times better about my situation. After all sometimes being positive is all we have considering we will not know what the future holds. Sometimes talking to others that have this and understand really helps. With time comes acceptance. You are not your hair!! And you are absolutely beautiful with ur hair shaved!!
     
  3. dancer

    dancer Experienced Member

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    Firstly I wanted to say how lovely you look with your hair shaved, you have features that carry the look extremely well :)

    I know I am way too old for this forum but I wanted to answer you as your post struck a chord with me. I became Alopecia Universalis at the age of 12, even though I carried on with life with determination that my alopecia would not stop me doing anything I wanted, I often put on a façade when really deep inside I felt totally insecure, especially around males. Having low esteem makes us feel vulnerable, don't let your alopecia stop you being true to yourself and standing up for what you believe in.It is so important to be able to express yourself otherwise you end up feeling frustrated and resentful in your relationship. As I have got older and I am comfortable in my own skin ( I have no doubt my husband has influenced this !) I know my husband is with me for who I am and my Alopecia Universalis is not an issue at all for him. We have had the whole hair loss conversation on many occasions and it wasn't until he opened up about his insecurities that I appreciated where he was coming from when he says he will love me whatever happens, I totally get this as I feel the same about him!

    Try to believe in yourself, you are so pretty and most of all enjoy your youth! :)
     
  4. thank both you of you so much for your thoughtful replies. it's definitely so much easier to take things into consideration when you know that someone understands where you're coming from. i'm working so hard every day to try to stay true to myself. i definitely do "wear a mask" some times, outside i'm sure to others i look like i feel completely fine but inside there's usual some kind of internal battle going on. honestly for the most part my boyfriend has been nothing but kind and helpful with me, i'm sure a lot of the issues that we have had in the past stem from insecurities on both sides.

    anyways once again, thanks for your input :) life is seriously too short to be sweating it over something as meaningless as hair. i constantly tell myself that every day, because it's true. (maybe one day i'll actually fully believe my own words. haha)
     

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