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Dating advice?

Discussion in 'Women's Alopecia Areata' started by Chitown, Jun 16, 2007.

  1. Chitown

    Chitown Guest

    Hello, this is my first post!

    I got Alopecia Areata when I was about 14 and had bald spots occassionally from that time until now (I recently turned 40). A year ago, my hair began thinning....just gradual loss and now I have very little hair, very few eyelashes and seem to be losing my eyebrows. This may have been triggered by extreme stress I was experiencing, which is now in my past (very bad boss, horrible commute, etc.). Other than that, I am an attractive, fit, happy, well-rounded woman and am also single. I keep my head covered with funky bandanas or if I'm playing sports I wear a baseball cap. I would like to begin dating but am not certain how to approach. I wonder how others see me, if I'm attractive to them, if they think I am ill because of my appearance, etc.

    Any advice for me, or can someone share their experience? :)
  2. yessika

    yessika Guest

    welcome to the boards! i don't have Alopecia Areata, but always look at the new posts -- i have Androgenetic Alopecia, so diffuse thinning. i can tell you what i think from meeting women with clear hair loss that otherwise look well and happy. in general people might wonder if you have a medical condition, though too shy to ask. the more comfortable you are, the more they will be. i've realized that nearly *everyone* has some sort of "condition," though it might be less obvious than hairloss.

    also, as far as attractiveness goes, it really doesn't lie all in your hair. i had a close friend with significant thinning (diffuse) that was BEAUTIFUL, with a great spirit. she had a very nice boyfriend, and i also witnessed her getting hit on rather assertively by one of roommate's friends (also a nice and handsome guy). she was sweet, funny, smart and downright lovely, and that trumped any hair problems by a long shot. but she was very confident and relaxed, which helped, i think. in a second case, i knew a woman with trichtillomania who was bald. she always wore a baseball cap. she wasn't quite as pretty as my other friend, but really nice, genuine, and caring. her new boyfriend (with whom she now lives!) is a HAIRDRESSER. so funny, in a the-universe-is-a-strange-place kind of way.

    the only thing i can't say is how they met their respective partners, and how they negotiated the hair loss conversations. i imagine that's the info you really want, and i wish i could be more help there. but i at least wanted to say the hair loss isn't an insurmountable problem re: dating. i hope others can provide you with more practical advice!

    best wishes to you,
  3. Guest

    Guest Guest

    i am completely bald and beautiful with Alopecia Universalis, and am now with a wonderful handsome man.

    when i was single and out at a club or on a date with a guy, i made the most of my bald look.
    like women fashion models who shave their heads and wear the bald look.

    i would apply my makeup well, i used skin lotions on my bald head to make the skin soft, would wear big hoop earrings or long dangle earrings to compliment my bald look, wear a fashion neckscarf, would wear a sexy short skirt or little black dress or little red dress, panythose and high heels, etc.. i kept myself in good shape so that i had a nice figure.
    ..................some handsome men like beautiful bald women. they find them sexy, sensual, exotic, unique.
    my man does, and i sometimes really doll myself up when he and i go out on the town.

    i actually got more attention from handsome men when i dolled myself up and made myself beautiful and went out bald, than i did when i wore a wig.

    headscarves are nice too. i like wearing long headscarves wrapped from the front and tied back and dangling down my back gypsy style, with big hoop earrings or long dangle earrings and a beautiful dress, panytyhose and high heels, etc...
  4. Guest

    Guest Guest

    also, if anyone asks why you are bald, tell them you are in good health but just have alopecia, the condition of hair loss or not having hair. if you have a happy and healthy attitude you will convey that to others, whether you are dating a guy, or just out on the town with people, or whatever.

    alopecia is nothing to be ashamed of.

    there are many bald beautiful women (including, if you watched the miss universe show this month, one of the miss universe contestants. miss tanzania. she shaved her head and wore the bald look and she made the final ten).
    (there are a number of women fashion models and women singers who also shave their head and wear the bald look. there are several women fashion models who are completely bald with alopecia, including anna fitzpatrick, margret baker, and laura hudson, who model bald as well as with wigs or headscarves. they are beautiful bald ladies :wink: :D )
  5. Chitown

    Chitown Guest

    Thank you Thank you!

    Thank you so much for your responses. It is so helpful to hear that perspective. It really helps make me more comfortable with my Alopecia Areata leading to Alopecia Universalis. I may be brave enough to try the bald look! I did see Miss Universe and found the bald look very attractive. Also, I need to remember that learning how to deal with these issues/situations (or whatever they are!) is a process that doesn't happen all at once and is definitely not black and white! I appreciate you guys.
  6. Guest

    Guest Guest

  7. bschmalz

    bschmalz Guest

    Hi Carolredskirt,

    Have you ever thought of writing a book? You have such a positive outlook with having Alopecia Universalis and I think that you can help many others with it. You already do here at Heralopecia. At least for me you do.

  8. Guest

    Guest Guest


    thanks birgitt. maybe i am sort of writing a book with my posts.

    if i did write a book it would be about a beautiful sexy bald woman, her adventures, and the handsome men she meets.
    the bald woman would be very cool, talented, feminine and beautiful, and have a great wardrobe of sexy dresses, and beautiful fashion scarves, earrings and jewelry.
    maybe i would make her a bald fashion model who becomes a detective, or a private investigator, or a singer in a rock band, or an actress. :wink: :D

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