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Diffuse Hair Loss & Dealing With Relationship

Discussion in 'Living with Androgenetic Alopecia' started by Girlyouareafirework, Apr 24, 2018.

  1. Girlyouareafirework

    Girlyouareafirework New Member

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    Hello all,
    I am a new member & I am so glad I found this forum.

    Like many Indian women, I originally had thick butt length hair that was too heavy to put in a ponytail or bun. But once I reached puberty, my hair started falling out & I noticed a drastic hair loss at 17 due to anemia. The density never recovered although my hair was still thick. Due to lack of awareness, I continue to style my hair unaware of what effect it will have on my scalp. Fast forward 10 years later, my hair is hardly 30% of what I initially had, but still looks descently full to strangers. Yet, the impending doom gives me nightmares and keeps me from sleeping at night.

    I have recently begun a holistic approach focusing on healthy mind, nutrition for a healthy body! Epigenetics claim that you are the manifestation of your genes but more so of your lifestyle! And a healthy lifestyle has the ability to switch off these “bad genes”! I have seen some progress, I see some decrease in hair loss although it’s pretty fluctuating.

    My ex has seen me with thick long hair as well as thinning hair through the decade. And having a supportive partner really helped me cope with hair loss. Unfortunately, my partner cheated & we broke up, breaking my confidence & sense of self worth along with it!

    Two years passed, I finally met a guy who I could resonate with. Someone who inspires & challenges me! But my luck has that, this guy that I feel so much for loves girls with long straight hair! Having healthy beautiful hair really matters to him because he finds it incredibly attractive! Ever since he expressed his liking, I have had a tough time convincing myself that I am worthy of this man. I feel like the right thing to do is move away from him because he deserves someone better. I can’t help feeling I can’t make him happy. I spoke to him about not having straight hair & losing density (I ended up crying)...he was supportive, he said it was okay that I didn’t have straight hair & that it was never too late to grow back my hair. He asked me to promise him that I will take care of my hair. I did promise but I don’t even know what I am up against :(

    May be I have to wear a wig some day. Would I then still be able to make my BF happy? I don’t know, it sucks to lose someone over hair :(
     
  2. Hennared

    Hennared Experienced Member

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    I get it. I have lost at least half of my once thick full wavy long hair.
    But,

    Worse than losing someone because of your hair is...

    Staying with someone who values you for your hair more than for ~you~.

    In your heart, you KNOW this is true.

    Do the best you can to nourish your hair and yourself, and the best relationship will follow.

    It really is that simple (Notice I did not say easy!!!) A man who values your hair over you is Never worth having in your life.
     
    losing_it likes this.
  3. losing_it

    losing_it Established Member

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    I had hair loss before I met my boyfriend (who has a thick/lush head of hair at 33), but it grew back in and I met him when my hair looked phenomenal. About 3 months after we started dating, it began falling out again. It is now significantly thinner than when we first met.

    Of course I could go on and on with details, but my main point is that he’s always been incredibly supportive. The first time I brought it up and told him all about my prior issue with hair loss and that it was starting again, he said “that must have been really hard for you; don’t worry I’m not freaked out.”

    As my shedding increased and I started talking about maybe going to wigs in the future he would say “you won’t have to go through it alone, we’re in this together.”

    One time I told him I felt awful because he met me with great hair and he didn’t know what he was getting into, he said “I’d sign up for it all over again even if I knew what was going to happen.”

    Personally, I wouldn’t be able to date someone long term who hasn’t expressed commitment regardless of what happens. Of course we all have fear that our partner will not find us attractive after we lose our hair. I think that’s normal. But my boyfriend would never say “promise me you’ll take care of your hair,” because number one he sees the devastation that hair loss causes, and knows that I’d give just about anything to get my hair back. And number two I’m sure I’d go total ape shit on him over it. Depending on the context, that comment alone might be grounds for a break up for me.

    Someone will love you for you, with or without your hair. It’s up to you to dig deep and figure out if it’s this guy, or if it’s going to be someone else.
     
    Jenn and Mia88 like this.
  4. elixirhtc

    elixirhtc Member

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    Hair loss is one of the most common problem for many people specially for women, it really make you feel uncomfortable among in the society so they are very keen to recoer their hair and stop hair loss..
     

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