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Hair Loss is NOT my Life Sentence!

Discussion in 'Newly Diagnosed Alopecians' started by Project-Nora, Mar 5, 2013.

  1. Project-Nora

    Project-Nora Guest

    Hello Everyone :),

    My name is Nora, I am 29 years old and I was finally diagnosed with Androgenetic Alopecia & TE after 13 years of denial, Depression and a whole lot of confusion. I had always suspected it was Androgenetic Alopecia because my Mom has been suffering from it from her late 20's and still suffers from it today. I witnessed the lack of self esteem and devastation that it caused and hoped that I would not have to go through the same thing. Yes I broke down when I was diagnosed not by 1 dermatologist but 3. It felt like a life sentence, which may be overly dramatic to people who have not experienced major hair loss. But I felt like I had lost a limb, a part of my womanhood. For the past two years my hair has gone through a massive shedding cycle, my crown is now quite thin and my hair is very fine and limp. The short hair cuts did not add any more volume & all the blow drying and volumizing sprays did little to add life and depth to my limp hair. I packed on the pounds and my Hair would not stop falling. I was a mess, lost contact with a number of close friends. I avoided social gatherings like the plague and would stay holed up in our tiny apartment all day. I felt ugly, worthless, old, a pathetic caricature of my younger healthier self. My husband and family have been absolutely amazing and supportive through my journey. However I was not convinced; how could I feel beautiful when my reflection in the mirror said otherwise?
    It is a long journey of healing, acceptance and learning to love myself again. I just purchased my very first wig and let me tell you Ladies, it has been a looooong time since I have felt this way: I felt pretty, sexy, sultry and feminine. It felt SO good and yet a little terrifying ( It can be when you are not used to seeing yourself with a full, thick head of hair). Yes so I have a few limitations that come a long with wig wearing. Yes it is detached and did not sprout from my head. But it IS mine! I paid for it (quite a lot..unfortunately), so that makes it MINE.
    I was diagnosed less than a month ago and as traumatic and final as it was. I am also more accepting of my thinning limp bio hair, it's OK and I am still ME. Hair is tangible, loving myself and accepting myself is not. In time I hope that I will have the courage to shave off the meager hair I have left. Bald CAN be just as beautiful. It is unique, striking, edgy, just as sexy and can still be feminine.
    To those of you who are afraid of how your spouse, significant other or prospective mates might react; know that there are people out there who are very accepting and who can and DO look beyond thinning hair. My husband has taught me that valuable and cherished lesson. You are not your hair, it is a part of you. It does and should not become you. You have done nothing wrong, it is beyond your control. As are a number of things in life. It can happen to anyone at any stage in life. You are not alone.
    It has taken me over 13 years to come to terms with it and adapt to it. I gave it 13 years of my life. I now refuse to give it any more for it is NOT my life sentence and it DOES NOT make any of us any less feminine. I am now 10 lbs lighter (30 more to go), feel more in control and I am starting to at least "like" myself again. Ladies it is OK to wear a wig, a topper, extensions or scarves. It does not make you "fake", wearing your hair can be as simple and routine as applying your daily moisturizer and hey you can change your hair color and style as often as you like. If you decide to shave your head, do a search of celebrities who have. They look just as hot! It is all about YOU and what makes YOU feel good. I will never forget the day when I first tried on my wig, not simply because I got to see myself with more hair, but more so because I realized that the woman under the wig was still me and "I" was not so bad after all. Hair or no hair You still have a great canvas. Hahaha now my post is bordering on a touch of narcism.
    Thank you to all the ladies on here who are strong enough to share their stories, reviews, experience and pictures on this board. It has been a tremendous support system on my once lonely journey. I hope in time, that I will also find the courage to post pictures and reviews; to give back. Hope you all find hope :).
     
  2. Lily

    Lily Senior Member

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    :bravo:
     
  3. Gypsy99

    Gypsy99 Guest

    unfortunately i still mourn for my hair. Hair loss is the end or partly the end of my life
     
  4. Project-Nora

    Project-Nora Guest

    :sad:, I'm sorry Gypsy99. I wish that I could tell you that the pain of losing your hair will come to an end. Acceptance, learning to love yourself and adapting to it can be a long journey. I hope that you will eventually find hope and strength. Just keep holding on :) and know that you are not alone. This is a great place to share, learn and get advice. I am learning that I may have lost a part of me, but there is still a whole lot left! Keep fighting the fight to go on, despite it. Joining a forum such as this is a good step. It's ok to mourn over it because it IS a big deal, but don't let it take over your life completely as I am sure it has impacted it enough. I hope you feel better.
     
  5. jacqui77

    jacqui77 Guest

    Yes, BRAVO Nora. I came to realize that having AT was not an end, but for me it became a new chapter in my life. That is not to say that it was in any way easy, because it wasn't. I even reached the darkest point in my life due to AT. But I'm accepting of my situation almost two decades later and the only time I really think about being bald is when I decide which wig I will wear each day. Hope this helps others.
     
  6. connie

    connie Guest

    Thank you Nora. You hit a cord in my heart. I am three weeks into Alopecia Areata and have lost 30 to 40 percent of my hair already. My significant other and myself popped in to see my Granddaughter the other day and she took her barbie and danced her on my bald spot!! She was not frightened or sickened by it like I am. Between her, my boyfriend, and this forum I am starting to find the acceptance of this disorder and myself!! Thank you again!
     
  7. Eve

    Eve Guest

    Brovo Nora! It is nice to read positive posts like yours:)
     
  8. bayareagirl

    bayareagirl Established Member

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    Oh my, thanks for sharing your thoughts and tremendous courage. I'm going to come back to this thread more than once. I am seeing changes in my hair that others say they are not noticing but I know and I am fearful. But I will try to take your words with me when I visit the dermo tomorrow.
     
  9. GypsyKate

    GypsyKate Established Member

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    My spouse is also very supportive about my hair situation. In fact, when I flip out after I wash it, he tells me to shave it off and start wearing wigs. I think that's what he thinks will put an end to the daily torment. He's far more distressed by my distress than he is about my hair. In fact, it seems like he doesn't care at all.
    He also asserts that no man would ever notice if a woman was wearing a good wig. This is a message to ladies who are dating or in pursuit of a relationship - a wig or hair piece might help. Wait til the guy is hooked by your awesome personality before telling him your hair was purchased, not grown straight out of your head.
     

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