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Hi, I'm back! Looking for friendship and advice :)

Discussion in 'Women's General Hair Loss Discussions' started by jensebest, Dec 18, 2012.

  1. jensebest

    jensebest Guest

    Hi Everyone,

    I was active on this forum a few years back - before my life got crazy - and now I'm back looking for community, understanding and advice.

    Just a quick recap of my situation...

    I'm 44 and have been losing my hair since I was about 25. It was fairly slow loss though, and I made do for a long time (didn't love that it was thin, but I got by with regular styling products). Well, a chain of events the last 5 years kicked my hair loss into overdrive, and now I'm where I'm at today (which is depressed and far less hair :( In a nutshell, 5 years ago my dad died of a stroke at my house while he was visiting for the weekend. This was only 2 1/2 years after my mother lost her battle with breast cancer. After he died, almost 3 months to the day, my hair started coming out in handfulls. And all this time later, it hasn't stopped. (I also have PCOS, but I'm not sure that's what's at work here anymore.)

    In addition to the post-traumatic stress, fast forward a couple years and my husband (of 10 years) and I split up. This was just at the same time that our then 6 year old son was diagnosed with autism. I have lost so much in the last few years, but the icing on the cake is my hair. I'm having a really hard time coming to terms with it now that impending baldness is finally here. I really don't like wearing things on my head, but know that I will have to get a wig (well I already have one, but can't wear it. That's another issue - question coming shortly, lol). Especially since I'm now a single mom, I feel so unattractive with the hair loss that I'm keeping myself from being social - heck, even leaving the house. I feel like I'll be alone for the rest of my life as no many will ever find me attractive again (and it sucks cuz I'd finally come to accept myself, being overweight, etc.) Anyway, I'm sorry to go on like this, but I feel like this is pulling me down to the point that I'm not even able to be the best mother I can to my son (and with the autism, I really need to be "on.")

    So, that's why I've come back - both for the support and community (as I know so many of you understand what I'm talking about) and also for advice as to how to handle this. So I mentioned I have a wig. I actually spent a fair amount of money on a nice EHH wig from a well-know wig maker in the NY'NJ area (I'm in California, btw). The problem is, I was only able to wear it a couple of times. My hair has gotten so thin, that the clips just pull and cause me a lot of pain. So I'd never wear it. Instead, I went the Dermatch route (and recently tried Caboki - which works well but makes the biggest mess everywhere!) So, I could really use some advice as to what kind of wig options are available to me. Even though I have some hair left, it's very thin and I cannot wear a wig that relies on those little clips to stay on. If anyone has any advice on the kind of hairpiece that would work for me, I'd be so very grateful. I will even shave my head if that's what it requires.

    Oh, and since a new wig will cost another chunk of change, I'm selling my other one. It's very high quality EHH, dark brown (I think it's a 6 in color), straight to about the shoulder, with some bangs (not heavy though). It really deserves to be worn by someone who could use it. If anyone is interested, please leave me a PM on this forum I guess.

    Thanks everyone, for listening to my story and thanks in advance for any words of wisdom you may have. I'm open to hearing all suggestions. Oh, and I'm also interested in an in-person support group if anyone lives in or around the San Francisco Bay Area. I know I met a few people before from this forum, but that was several years ago now. Anyway, just saying I'd totally be open to a local support group if anyone knows of any.

    Thanks so much and bigs hugs to everyone!

    :)
    Jenny
     
  2. Sassy

    Sassy Established Member

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    Hi Jenny-wanted to bump this to top again... You've been dealt a tremondous hand and I feel your pain and frustration through your words. Not sure how supportive I can be but I'd like to reach out to you.

    For some crazy reason, many of us can deal with a whole **** load but don't mess with our hair. It makes us too vulnerable, it's sort of like a shield. Like your mom, I had breast cancer a few years ago and some of the woman were more concerned over losing their hair than they were about being diagnosed with a life threatening disease. That's how much worth some of us can put on our hair.

    You need to feel better about your hair situation. So, what are you going to do about it? Putting yourself back on this board is a good start. It will be informative and supportive allowing you to try and make the correct decision for yourself.

    I've been dealing with hair loss for 20 years and now I'm practically bald on top. I decided to try new product called smart part. You can search this site and learn more information and see photos of me. I guess you can actually see my old posts by entering my profile (or whatever). I'm not saying smartpart is the final solution to dealing with my hair loss but at the moment it's working for me. I am more confident and feeling good about my appearance. I also just started dating some nice men after a long marriage. You can also read about a relationship I'm currently in and my struggle over telling date about my wearing hair.

    So, I wish you love and strength to move forward with confidence.

    Sharalee
     
  3. LaurenEinFL

    LaurenEinFL Guest

    Welcome back. I am a chronic lurker on this forum but decided I need everyone here -- so I'm making an effort to post more.
     
  4. Hi! I too am 44, yucky hairloss, and a son with autism. I have my share of stress! Welcome back, i have been away from the forum for a few years- time to get back to these wonderful ladies!
     
  5. lady_a

    lady_a Guest

    Welcome back! This forum has helped me through the times where I just felt so alone with this hairloss condition! It's comforting to know there r others out there who understand just wat we are going through.
     

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