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How did you know?

Discussion in 'The Undiagnosed' started by janee807, Feb 2, 2010.

  1. janee807

    janee807 Guest

    Having tried my best to see my hair in a mirror and feeling I was never seeing it well enough to gather a good opinion I finally asked my husband to look and tell me what he saw. I hesitated doing this as I hate to point out the "ugly" parts of myself to my husband as he never finds them on his own and, he tends to sugar coat to spare my feelings. He is a good husband. Still, I really wanted to know.

    So, he looks and says "here and here" re: thinning areas and at one point I go, "what, I wasn't aware of anything there." Here he has found an area larger than any I had known of previous. I'm now honestly so sad and wondering how any one out there decided when was the time to go the next step? The next step for me would be wig. For me go that step and likely never go back. My husband says no, I still have lots of hair on the sides and quite a bit on back; it is on the top that it is getting thin enough that it is tough to style and the wind is my enemy. I see the warmer days ahead and the social events that usually come with warm weather and it just feels too hard. Too hard to worry about wind, hairspray, etc. The nanogen is pretty great but it obviously still does not provide hair to style and my "comb-overs" aren't very pretty.

    Anyway, how did those who went the next step to a topper or wig, how did you decide when? Thank you very much.
     
  2. Vlal

    Vlal Guest

    I am not sure about everyone else, but for me it was a combination of things. My loss got to the point where going out in the sun was painful as I am very fair skinned and had little protection from my hair to prevent burning my scalp. I also began to notice that my co-workers were talking at my scalp and not to me... it was like they were transfixed. Those things combined with the fact that no matter what I did, I could not make my hair look decent, were what made me turn to cosmetic hair.
     
  3. curlylocks

    curlylocks Guest

    Most men, when they hear the word "wig" think of 1960's Supreme's type thing. They are absolutely clueless. I think he would be pleasantly surprised with what you can find now in a topper or JS Bangs, etc. I wore my bangs around my hubby all day and he didn't realize they weren't mine. He said "you're hair looks very cosmopolitan today". He was totally shocked when I fessed up.
     
  4. Vlal

    Vlal Guest

    That is SO cute!!! :mrgreen:
     
  5. Eztli

    Eztli Guest

    For me, it was a combination of two things. someone took a picture of the top of my head and I just about died. Also, random strangers were beginning to comment. I lived in China and a couple of taxi drivers asked me why my hair was so thin. They didn't mean anything by it, it's hard to explain, but they don't find stuff like that offensive, when I was really heavy, they used to tell me, Ni zhen pang! (you are truly fat), no insult intended. Anyway it was the wake up call I needed. Getting my illusion fall was one of the best things I ever did for myself.
     
  6. hwag5149

    hwag5149 Guest

    off topic, but how is telling someone they are truly fat not intended to be offensive? Do they just state and accept the truth there? If so, why is it needed to be mentioned??
     
  7. janee807

    janee807 Guest

    Thanks curlylocks, I too like that "cosmopolitan" comment. Too funny. I think also that my husband would end up liking my "hair" and liking that I don't stress about trying to make my bio hair work anymore and all of the time and money that requires. I guess I have a gut fear that he will see me as broken though I have absolutely no basis for that fear, in fact the opposite is true; he is endlessly supportive. Maybe it is me. It is a scary step. I think I would be okay at home, probably like so many here it is that going out in public and friends and family. Thank you for your help.

    Eztli, I do think I am coming close to that "wake up call" though I can't be sure. Tomorrow I go get my hair cut and colored and my hairdresser is definitely one person who will be honest on what she is seeing since my last appointment. I honestly think I've lost quite a bit more since that last appointment. I will like my hair for approximately 1 and 1/2 weeks after the appointment because the color will cover so much, then I will become very frustrated. That leaves 2 1/2 weeks of frustration before the next appointment; too my life time to stress. Thank you Eztli.
     
  8. SherryBerry

    SherryBerry Guest

    Taker a picture out in SUNLIGHT.


    That should make up yur mind pretty quick either way :(
     
  9. janee807

    janee807 Guest

    SherryBerry, the voice of wisdom and experience. You are so right. I absolutely hate pictures of me taken with the sun shining behind me or even with a white wall behind me. The family Christmas my husband and I were standing in front of a bright window and someone took our picture and it was TERRIBLE. I look like I have two hairs on my head. That has been me for many years and now it is just worse. As much as what you say is true, it is also darn funny. That one will make me smile for a while. Thanks!
     
  10. SherryBerry

    SherryBerry Guest


    HAHHAHA i try and not even DO pictures... but if i HAVE to have one i also do the "DARK BEHIND ME" thing ;) OMG should there be some sunlight or a white wall... OMG i would need to recouperate for a year from the embarssment when i saw the picture.

    By the way... I'm so practiced, i even stand FACING the sun just out talking with neighbors. not an easy trick but I guide them into position without them even knowing it. then I stand there blinded by the sun trying to talk and look non-chalant with tears streaming down my face from the blazing sunshine :laugh:
     
  11. janee807

    janee807 Guest

    HA! Yesterday I was at the post office and I turned sideways while waiting in line so no one would be looking at the back of my head! I may be answering my own question with that one alone!

    It is sad yet funny what we do.
     
  12. dragonfly

    dragonfly Senior Member

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    Janee - I decided to go ahead and buy a wig because I was becoming too self conscience about my bio hair. I work at a University and walk to meetings a lot. If very much wind was blowing my hair, which I had plastered with hairspray, looked terrible by the time I reached my destination. I just got tired of worrying about it. I have no embarrassment about the fact that I have Androgenetic Alopecia, but I do have embarrassment about what my hair looks like. So, when I finally decided to get a wig it was actually quite freeing. When people at work first saw it i just told them the truth and the focus was not on the fact that I'm losing my hair, but on how great the wig looks. I submitted another post earlier this evening saying that I have not really settled in with the look of the wig yet even though everyone else really likes, but I will tell you this, I like the look of it far more than I like the look of my bio hair. When my husband and I went shopping last weekend I didn't have to worry about the fact that it was a bit misty outside, just flipped my hood up and didn't have to worry about it flattening my hair. Honestly, I'll get this wig tweaked to suit me, but for me it has been a really good choice.
     
  13. SherryBerry

    SherryBerry Guest



    YOU KNOW...... I think you hit the nail right on the head! Which is more embarassing,stringy hair going wacky or a good wig that sets you free :bravo:
     
  14. janee807

    janee807 Guest

    Thanks dragonfly, I always thought it might be a "freeing" feeling. I always hope it will be. I will be glad to not have to worry about the weather as far as frizz and wind showing my bare spots. I won't have to worry about staying in all day long trying to be still if I have an evening engagement. I do think I will find it a positive, freeing experience when the time comes. I no longer think I have until the end of the year.

    Just returned from getting my hair cut and my excellent and very kind stylist of ten years agrees that my loss has definitely progressed since last month. I do feel that I need to at least begin to search for a wig. Here is what I've done so far.

    SherryBerry, I did purchase one inexpensive wig and I'm waiting for a second from Clairhair.com. This weekend I will experiment and just try to get a feel. I do hope to get to the one-and-only wig store around here within the next month or two. My excellent hairdresser offered today to go with me which was soooo nice. She knows my hair, my color, my likes, so that was quite a kindness to offer. My concern is if I don't find anything there I like. I know a lot of people have communicated with Flora to have a wig made without actually going there and it seems to have gone well, right? Do many of you out there order online a wig that would be considered mid to high priced?

    Also, I don't think I would do well with a real hair wig as I am a terrible stylist, I've never, ever been able to style my own hair. Real hair has to be styled, correct? Synthetic wigs can now pass for real today, right? They wouldn't require styling.

    Am I on the right track? Dragonfly, you seem to have done very well. SherryBerry, you are definitely the dictionary/enclopedia of wigware, hope you don't mind my saying that. I would like to be there some day.

    Thanks everyone again. Step by step here.
     
  15. janee807

    janee807 Guest

    Another question. I just looked at the Yaffa Mystique wig and some of the options are "baby hair" and "bangs". What does "baby hair" mean and does "bangs" mean I can have them add bangs. I do wear bangs and prefer them. I like the style very much; it is my hair on it's best day ever and triple that. Thanks again everyone.
     
  16. janee807

    janee807 Guest

    What does "full cut" mean? Thanks!
     
  17. dragonfly

    dragonfly Senior Member

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    I think the Mystique is a Raquel Welch wig, and if it's the one I'm thinking of I think it is adorable. I've always wondered about her wigs and what the quality is. If anyone knows please let us know.
     
  18. Vlal

    Vlal Guest

    Hi

    I am taking a few guesses here:

    Baby hairs - this means they add some shorter hairs at the hairline to look like you have baby hair growing there (as in normal bio hair). Sometimes they do this both at the front hairline and the nape and sometimes just at the front. My concern with them is that sometimes they can look a bit fake if they are too long and straight and too many. I usually would request them customised so that they are wavy, not too long and only around the 'corners' of my front hairline (replicating how my bio hair was).

    Bangs - Usually if bangs are added into a wig by the manufacturer they ventilate the hair in a certain way and then cut it. Whereas,if you add bangs yourself via getting your stylist to cut it, they just cut the hair that is there and so the hair has not been set a certain way via ventilatio - e.g. going left or right if side swept bangs.

    Full cut - assume this means that the whole wig would be cut into a style of your choice, but could be wrong. It's not very obvious to me either!
     
  19. MarshaMarsha

    MarshaMarsha Guest

    My wig was a Raquel Welch synthetic and I loved it! I just popped it on, combed through it, and out the door I went. The only drawback I saw to it is the fact that synthetics cannot be subjected to heat - such as the heat when you open your oven door - and I cook alot - so several times I forgot and ended up singing the bangs. That, along with the extreme heat and humidity here in the south, were the deciding factors for me to leave my wig at home back in August.

    But I agree with everyone else, I decided to go with a wig once I realized my hair was going to continue to fall out, I had huge bald patches, was afraid to be in the wind, obsessed over running my fingers through my hair and seeing how many fell out at one time, was beginning to be severely depressed to the point of not wanting to get out of bed, let alone look in a mirror! My husband had been pushing me to get a wig for a month before I agreed; I was just being stubborn I think. I felt as if that was his way of "covering up" my problem, but looking back, I think it was just his way of supporting me and trying to help me be myself again.

    And I further agree with everyone else when they say it was a very freeing experience! Talk about having "good hair days" continuously! It was terrific! I wore a wig from April through August, and really enjoyed the fact that I didn't have to spend my mornings primping. From the first day I put it on, I felt like a new person, and got tons of compliments on my hair. It was kind of embarrassing at first (to receive the compliments) and then I learned to be honest with most people and just tell them what happened. It's amazing how many true friends I found I have! Also amazing how uneducated everyone is about Alopecia Areata, Alopecia Universalis, etc.

    It's an eye-opener. I know I am very lucky; less than a year after the onset, I have a full head of curly gray hair....But I hold my breath every day that it doesn't start again, and I guess that's something I'll always have to live with, but that's okay too.
     

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