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How Do I "come Out" About Hair Loss To My New Husband?

Discussion in 'Women's Alopecia Universalis & Totalis' started by hairlosssurvivor, Sep 10, 2018.

  1. hairlosssurvivor

    hairlosssurvivor New Member

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    Hello!

    This is my first ever post. I've had alopecia for almost four years and at times feel like I'm happy and in control of the condition and at other times, still feel like my whole world is falling apart.

    My biggest issue is that my husband doesn't know. I have an amazing solution (I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post company names here in case it seems like advertising?) that means that only a handful of my closest friends and family know about my hair loss. I actually went from my hair to a hair replacement system in a day and no one noticed. It means that I can continue to go about my life exactly as before but every so often, the fact that I haven't told my husband feels overwhelming.

    We only got married six weeks ago and he's wonderful and loving and supportive and knows i "have issues with my hair" but doesn't know the extent. I'm terrified of telling him, I'm scared of becoming unattractive in his eyes and also feeling vulnerable and exposed and like I can no longer be attractive once I know he knows.

    Has anyone had this? How did you manage to "come out"? I know I should just sit him down and have a frank discussion but I honestly don't know if I'll ever have the guts to do this so would love to hear people's stories.

    Thanks
     
  2. mem0307

    mem0307 New Member

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    What system are you using?
     
    Farrah711 likes this.
  3. Monique A

    Monique A New Member

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    I have alopecia universalis and have no hair on my head or body. It hasn't been a problem for me with men. Most of them seemed to like me just fine being bald, although I usually wear a wig or headscarf in public.
    I have not had that problem with my husband, since when I met my husband at a nightclub one night, I was dolled up and wearing my bald look.
    How bald are you? Are you completely bald, or just partial hair loss?
    Alot of guys actually like the bald look on women, especially if you doll yourself up with your makeup, a pair of long dangle earrings, and dress feminine, wearing a sexy dress or skirt and blouse. I like doing that. I like being feminine. You can wear wigs or headscarves also.

    Sooner or later I am sure he will find out anyway. Let him know, and see how he reacts. Depending upon how much hair loss you have you can also have the option of shaving your head like some female fashion models, or female rock singers do. See if he likes that look on you. Or you can wear a wig or headscarf.
    He will eventually find out, so why torment yourself, just let him know, and then you can go from there, depending upon how he reacts. If he reacts badly to it, find another guy. Easier said that done perhaps, but if he reacts badly, there are plenty of guys that you might like just as well that won't react badly to it. You should know though, one way or the other.

    (by the way, how come it says on your profile you are a female that is only fourteen? If you have a husband you are obviously over that age I would presume. Maybe you should correct that on your profile).

    Take care, and let the ladies on the forum know how it goes for you.
     
    #3 Monique A, Mar 26, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2019
    sunlit likes this.

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