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how do you feel about your hairloss?

Discussion in 'Living with Androgenetic Alopecia' started by sadgirl, Mar 8, 2012.

  1. sadgirl

    sadgirl Guest

    sometimes I :

    - feel depressed and angry at god
    - don't care about it
    - give up and accept it
    - try to fight it
    - i know that this is extrem ,, but i go into depression phases where i actually think about killing myself and just end everything, but i can't because of my religion
    - jeaolus
    - maybe it's not the worst thing

    what about you ?
  2. worriedmommy

    worriedmommy Guest

    I feel:
    - unattractive
    - self conscious...like everyone is staring at my hair/scalp
    - sad and depressed...like I want to stay in bed all day and cry as well as hide
    - angry...why is this happening to me? Why can't I have the beautiful, thick hair I had a few months ago!?!
    - scared...I don't know what tomorrow brings...will all my hair eventually fall out?
    - tired and exhausted
    - anxious
  3. sadgirl

    sadgirl Guest

    thank you for sharing ,,i relate to everything u've said

    Feb 15, 2012
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    I have Alopecia Areata (missing a massive amount on the top of my head and around crown). Mainly I feel depressed. If I could, I think I would stay home all day and never leave the house. But I have to work and take care of my kids, so that's not an option. But the only times I'm not stressed out about having to "hide" my hair is when I'm at home. I hate having to get ready to leave the house because I feel like no matter what I do, I can't look nice. I can only wear my hair in a ponytail. I am constantly looking at other people's hair and missing the way mine used to look. Some days, though, I do manage to gather up a little hope that one day mine will get better.
  5. Bummer

    Bummer Established Member

    Aug 6, 2011
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    Self consious, unattractive, helpless, pissed off, depressed, pissed off that I'm depressed.

    Annoyed with myself for letting this take so much of my enjoyment out of life.
  6. WittsEnd

    WittsEnd Established Member

    Jan 22, 2011
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    Ditto everything above. It's really discusting. You know there is nothing you can do about it. I don't know how anyone can deal with
    it 100%. Doctors don't really think its a big deal, because it's not
    life threating, so they poo-poo it. I look at everyone's hair now, at the store, church, mall. And I think I look at mine way too much, but
    I can't help it. Maybe I think I'll wake up & it will be ok. LOL!!!
  7. Perhaps what I have done to get myself out of the Hairloss despair
    is I found & use a fantastic expert wig stylist at a great wig shop.
    She & her boss(owner) have worked tirelessly with me to create
    me a wig wardrobe(Mom paid the $$) of about two dozen pretty wigs,
    Now I have gorgeous hair 24/7,as I even sleep in wigs.
    I feel rejuvenated & very cheerful/radiant in my ''new hair'' and
    I am having a ball changing my appearance daily/nightly,with wigs in
    different colors lengths styles materials etc
    Most but not all my wigs are FINAL SALE CLEARANCE CLOSEOUTS
    at deep bargain prices & SEVERAL are HH ! (I also have $2000 EHH wig,NOT a closeout). There's no use in mourning over Hairloss,
    make it the catalyst for Extreme Makeovers thru New Hair,
    make ''lemon meringue & sweet lemonade'' from the sour lemon
    of Hairloss. Seize the opportunity for personal reinvention thru
    ''new hair'',Make HairLoss a fun experience,even for friends.
    For example,my gentleman friend Ron loves to go with me to my
    wig appointments & we have so much fun,we eagerly look forward
    to our ''wig dates'',the shop is in a flea market mall with a phenomenal
    array of gourmet eating places,jewelry/art stores,etc,so he & I love
    to dine there & we have plenty to do while waiting for my wig alterations/sewing to be done,so I can have the wigs done that day!
    AND,My expert sews in DERMAFIX & custom sews my wigs so I NEVER
    EVER need tapes glues or adhesives,& I wear a Sure Grip head band
    under my wigs for extra tight hold,
  8. m83

    m83 Established Member

    Nov 23, 2011
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    i feel very out of control - some days this mood comes over me where I have this compulsion to check the mirror over and over again even though I know nothing's changed.

    by the way, I think we should ask to have a new forum created called "A Negative Outlook" where we can post stuff like this :)
  9. There's no need to have a dark depressed pessimistic outlook on
    hairloss,when there are so many gorgeous wigs to wear & enjoy.
    My wig lady is so upbeat,she has alopecia from lupus & wears wigs for years & she makes my wig appointments so much fun so enjoyable
    I am usually in giggles & my gentleman buddy Ron is even laughing with us. I have ''perfect'' hair 24/7 & YOU CAN TOO !
    There's no need for NEGATIVE OUTLOOKS ON HAIRLOSS !
  10. Romy.N

    Romy.N Guest

    hair loss is a tragedy and it does not matter how old you are!
    As a woman we have been brainwashed daily since birth by media, mothers, fathers and men etc. that our main purpuse in life is to be pretty. I do not care how liberated, intelligent or independent we have gotten in the last hundreds of years it seems we can not shake this irrational thinking of our place in society.
    We all like the impression that we are just as much human as we are woman and that inner beauty means more then anything else...and this is also the truth....still every one of us wants to be pretty and to be pretty means among other features....a mane of hair!
    I have long thought about how to write this but I am old...lol...this year I am turning 59 and there is no time and no need for me anymore to be shy about something (the good thing of getting old!).

    My feelings of getting bald is everyday a different one but the conclusion I have and the solution I found is....that I am not going to swallow any of this poison anymore and I am not smearing my scalp full of medication (Rogaine is a MEDICATION for lowering bloodpressure) with all the sideeffects it comes with.

    As it is....when you get my age you have so much other ailments and have to take so much medication for it just to get not more ill ..that you really need to get a very good look on the years you have left and how healthy or ill you want to spend them.

    I grew up in a family surounded of strongwilled women and I do consider myself one but when it comes to my appearance I am very concerned about looking pretty, nicely dressed and kept in good shape. And for all this you have to have something on your head which completes the picture....pretty hair!!!!

    NOW......HOW DO I FEEL ?
    My brain tells me hairs do not matter and there are...as Marsha said...pretty wigs out there which could let me look even better then with my biohair BEFORE my hair loss. So what`s the matter? Life goes on and there are a lot more things which are more important to me than this stupid hair on my head.

    B U T .....

    when my emotions cook up and my whole ME contents just the woman inside of me.....I am absolutly devastated.. I am sad ... depressed....hopeless....feel agly....old....stupid....worthless....hate myself....the whole world....every other women WITH nice big hair....feel God is unfair.....and just want to sleep ..stay in my bed...for the rest of my life...and then wake up with a head full of hair.

    So, this is what I think and you know what.... this is what most of all women think I talk to which have hair loss....we just DO NOT WANT TO THINK LIKE THIS but a wig is a wig and bio hair is bio hair and all what we can do is hope that time will soothe the pain and hurt we feel about this hair loss and learn to live with it.

    We can not change the society which has made up a standard how women are post to look and it really does not help to get bombarded with pictures of flawless beauties everyday everywhere we look and if we like it or not.....sooner or later every little girl starts thinking that this is how she has to look even deep inside she knows it is not true that it should matter what is inside a person not on the surface but .....life is a b...i...tch!
  11. Vlal

    Vlal Guest

    I feel tired of it.
  12. Cousteau

    Cousteau Guest

    I do too. My hair has always been thin, but then a couple of years ago, I had a massive shed and it got horrible. I got a wig and wore hats when I wasnt' wearing the wig. I started taking HRT and Finasteride but I was figuring out the dosages by reading these forums and had it wrong. My gynecologist prescribed medication but I was out of the country and i was taking more estrogen than I apparently was supposed to, because she was upset when I came back. So then I went to Dr. Redmond and he put me on .75 mg of estrogen, which was much lower than what I had been taking, 1 mg. of prometium and .5 mgs of Finasteride. I also got a topper from Dov, which I'm still wearing. My own hair got much better last summer and I could go out with just some toppik on the top of my head and I was so encouraged. Then this year it has gotten steadily worse. The back is okay but the temples are awful. My left temple is mostly bald back about three inches and the top of my head has bald spots everywhere.

    I thought I had come to some peace with the topper, which makes me look good according to everyone who knows it's not my own hair and I don't try to hide it. But I just want to have my own lousy hair back. I like my hair off my face and up in the back and the topper is too short to put up and too thick and I don't really like the style. He cut the bangs too short and blah blah blah. This movie goes on in my head all the time about how I wish my hair would just grow back and how depressing it all is. Then I get okay about it. Then I get depressed again.

    So I completely relate to Vial's statment that she's just tired of it. Me too.
    I talked to Redmond a month ago and he told me there is still hope, but I'm beginning to think that nothing will ever work and I'm wasting my time and money. The people who post "regrowth" stories never seem to have bad hair even in their "before' pictures. I wish someone who had hair like mine would post "before" and "after" pictures and share their success stories. Because I don't think there are any success stories once your hair gets really bad.

    I wish someone would prove me wrong.
  13. Vlal

    Vlal Guest

    That is EXACTLY what I am grieving.

    I have very short hair (pixie) not by choice but by force.

    Prepare for venting...

    I am tired after 12 nearly 13 years of hair loss of the whole thing. Particularly of wigs, toppers, supplemental hair.... I don't want to wear any of it. It's gotten to the point where I am not wearing anything at all just because I can't stand the feeling of supplemental hair on my head. I just want to be able to have a ponytail, braid, bun... something! If I am feeling low about the hair loss, I end up wearing head covers... but I am resenting even them because it's another 'thing' on my head that I don't want to wear because I have to... I want to wear things because I want to and it's a fashion thing or a style thing or whatever.

    Anyway, I accept my hair loss and the likelihood it will not be getting better and may be getting worse. The thing that I struggle with is how to cope cosmetically... when I don't really want to wear anything at all.
  14. Cousteau

    Cousteau Guest

    Well Vial,

    At least we have company in our misery. It helped me to vent too. I actually don't mind wearing the topper, as far as feeling it is concerned. i have to give Dov credit. I had been wearing a wig which itched around my ears and I was always afraid it would accidentally come off and so I put bobby pins in it to secure it and then it really bothered me. The topper, however, because it just sits on the top of my head and falls over my own hair doesn't bother me. i can wear it for long periods. But when I take it off, I put a hat on even though there is no one in my house except me and my husband. I'm embarrassed for even him to see it and I certainly don't want the UPS guy or someone showing up whom I would want to see it even less. So I truly know what you mean. Sometimes I forget and walk downstairs and then remember and run up and put the hat on. It's just so tiring and depressing to have to live like this.

    Then there's the whole problem of swimming. Basically, you can't. The beach? Forget it. Really hot weather in the SE? Prepare to be miserable or to frighten small children. I don't want these choices. But that's what we've got. I've honestly felt until just recently that I was handling it well, but now I'm not again. Sorry to be such a downer. Maybe next time, I'll be in my "up" mood. I try to tell myself that it could be worse. Instead of having no hair, I could weigh 350 pounds and that would be a lot harder to disguise.
  15. To Cousteau

    I think you are mistaken about the Swimming thing,my wig experts
    told me it's 100% OKAY to swim in a synthetic wig whose cap
    has dermafix sewn in. I was told NOT to worry & to enjoy pool/ocean.
    So,that is what I plan to do. Of course,I will pack extra wigs to
    change into once I am ready to leave the pool/beach. I am certain I can find a private spot to discreetly change into a different wig

    And,I can still wear low ponytails,barrettes,hair ornaments,clips etc
    And,with DERMAFIX & Sure Grip gel band,combined together,I need
    NO tape glue or adhesive.

    It seems to me the wig newbie/novice(since Oct 2011) that I can
    do lots with a wig on,It feels so normal natural to me,I am a
    24/7 wig wearer,even to sleep in. I wore my ultra long long wig
    to a dance party last night & the wig did not budge,although I used
    no tape/glue/adhesive. I play music events wearing wigs,no problem.
    I do just about everything while wearing wigs,it feels so natural

  16. WittsEnd

    WittsEnd Established Member

    Jan 22, 2011
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    Romy, I really agree with what you said. We all know it doesn't do any good to cry about it but!!!, No matter what it's still your hair & its a part of you. I have 2 wiggs & I haven't worn them for a year now, I would much rather muddle thru with my hair, I can manage it so it looks ok, (not as good as it used to look & not as good as the wig) but it's my hair. Sounds goofy even to me, but that's how I feel about it.
  17. Vlal

    Vlal Guest

    I go through phases of dealing well and then not dealing so well. I asked other people with hair loss who have been dealing with it long-term and they said they have the same experience of highs and lows.
  18. Cousteau

    Cousteau Guest

    Thanks everyone for replying. I appreciate it.
  19. sadgirl

    sadgirl Guest

    thank you all for replying I've read all your posts ,,and cheers to that girl who feel really good and don't let her hair loss affect her ,, I hope to be like that one day ,,,
    to the other girls everything u've said I relate to,,, I feel the same thing... it's good to open up and says everything u feel ,,
  20. It's sad to read what VLAL & SADGIRL wrote. I feel so bad for
    both of you & any others that feel like hair loss is so horrific.
    Vlal,have you tried going to an expert wig fitter/stylist/alteration specialist? No wig wearer should be feeling so uncomfortable as you.
    I think that maybe you need custom wig work,including alteration/resizing etc. When I wear my wigs 24/7,it feels totally
    NORMAL NATURAL no discomfort,it feels ''a part of me'' like it was
    attached to me,which it sort of is,thanks to the superb SEAL
    the dermafix provides to my skin. I think if I was using tapes.glues or adhesives,THAT would drive me bananas. If you have your wigs tailored to fit your head like a ''glass slipper'' on Cinderella,(LOL)
    I think you would even forget you are wearing a wig. I just pop on a wig,give it a quck brushing/styling,& I'n on my way ! You can even
    custom decorate your wig with gorgeous accessories,like jeweled
    barrettes/clips. I think too that ''you guys' don't have a wig expert
    you can meet with every 1-2 weeks & whom you can call/email.
    as the expert can work wonders AS MINE DOES. I love the visits to her & her shop every week or two,she makes it so enjoyable & fun
    & she wears wigs almost 24/7 for lupus caused alopecia.
    She does EXTREMELY precise detailed work,to ensure a PERFECT fit
    on everything & will re-sew & re-adjust if I have the slightest problem,. She even helps me match special ''dress up'' clothes
    (like my floor length black formal dressy evening gowns I wear
    for my music performances-I am a concert pianist/violinist)
    to my various different wigs,& helps me accessorize ''my hair''
    & helps do special styling for me for certain occasions.
    I think you need a wig expert like mine,so that wigs are a
    PLEASURE & A DELIGHT to wear 24/7 ! I am assuming you
    don't have that kind of support & that is why you are so SAD about
    wig wearing. The support is so crucial !so vital !


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