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how do you feel about your hairloss?

Discussion in 'Living with Androgenetic Alopecia' started by sadgirl, Mar 8, 2012.

  1. BGS92

    BGS92 Guest

    I have Androgenetic Alopecia, and I feel
    - First and foremost, hopelessness.
    - Depressed.
    - Angry. All. The. Time.
    - Anxious.
    - Ugly.
    - Disgusting.
    - Embarrassed.
    - Like a freak.
    - Not normal.
    - Self conscious.
    - Aware of my problem 24/7.
    - Afraid.
    - Jealousy towards other women, even men with hair.
    - Despair.
    - Tired.
    - Exhausted.
     
  2. nikks2

    nikks2 Guest

    I mostly feel embarrassed and frustrated.
    I get very sad and because I dont want anyone to know, I isolate myself and get lonely !
    Hair loss is my first thought on waking and going to sleep - its a bit of an obsession.
    I have stopped doing so many things I previously enjoyed, because I am so self conscious etc.
    BUT - I have young kids and I dont want this to negatively influence their lives, so I need to find some sort of workable solution for me.
    In terms of life changes, hairloss is a big one - but it could be worse.
     
  3. How do I feel about my hairloss... Depressed. Envious. Angry/irritable (Surprisingly so. I swear it's made me a bitter person). Embarrassed/self conscious.

    My hair loss started when I was about 13, and got noticeable before I finished college. When I had a decent head of hair, it was baby fine, very frizzy, not shiny, and I was never any good at styling it. I never really got to enjoy womanhood with a good head of hair. I wish I cared for it better when I had it, but I was just a dumb teenager who didn't try to look pretty anyway.

    I used to be delusional. I'd play with my thin hair and put it up in a sloppy bun or a half pony or something, thinking it looked good, but the mirror would reveal otherwise. Eventually the delusion wore off and now I just expect my hair to always look bad. It's less disappointing, but still really upsetting when I need to look nice, and I put time and effort into my appearance, but my hair won't do anything normal. I feel like it just brings down my entire appearance.

    I have grown quite self conscious. There are some times when I just tell myself that others aren't focusing on it as much as I think they are. But when I know I'm having an especially bad hair day (scalp peeking through more uncontrollably than usual), and I catch someone's eye go to my head... ugh. It's an awful feeling.

    I find myself admiring all the full heads of hair I see everywhere I go, feeling envious, feeling like it's not fair. Ultimately we all have things we are self conscious about. For every beautiful head of hair I envy, I know there are probably a good number of women envying my figure, my complexion, my eyes, my teeth, whatever it is that they themselves are self conscious about. I just really wish I could sweep my hair up into a sloppy bun and look normal. I wish I could skip a shampooing and have my hair left "texturized," rather than stuck to my nearly naked scalp. I envy the girls who can throw together a reasonably cute hairstyle on the fly.

    I feel frustrated that there appear to be no suitable cosmetic options for me. Nanogen works okay, but it's messy, I can't figure out how to make a routine of Nanogen and Rogaine at the same time, and sometimes I think the fibers look obvious. I don't think I can ever adapt to wigs or have the courage to start wearing one around people I know. I hate shopping for clips or elastics because they just don't make anything that works for the tiny amount of hair I have. I fear washing and combing and styling and going to the salon because the hairs I lose in the process make me anxious. I get really sad when I see all the shed hairs on my floor, my bathroom counter, my car seat, my sweaters, my shower drain. I clog drains way too often.
     
  4. dancer

    dancer Experienced Member

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    I have accepted that I shall never have my hair back but that at times can leave me feeling sad. At times I miss my hair sooo much other times it doesn't bother me.
    I miss my lashes/ eyebrows this is my biggest challenge, people do notice the loss there quite often. The loss of nose hair as my allergies drive me mad!
    Sick to death that every time I see my derm I am reminded " its only hair and it does not matter" and I should be grateful I don't have cancer.....Yes I am but I came about hairloss, I do wonder do they say this to other patients with other problems.
    Even more annoyed that my derm now doesn't even bother to see me I see the nurse for my wig pescription as I was told" I am a lost cause!"
    Very sad that because my Alopecia Universalis is hereditary that other members of my family may have to deal with this and many already have
    Fed up with the constant expense of buying wigs, and other cosmetic solutions. I have could have cruised the world for what I have spent the last 30+ years!!
    Sad that my hair loss made me very much a loner in my teenage years

    Happy I never have to shave or wax any part of my body!
    Grateful for what I do have, hair loss has given me different perspective on life
    Determind to try and change peoples attitude about hair loss by being proactive and open about it
    Try to enjoy the wig wearing!
    Thankful every day for the love and support of my husband and my mum, my lifelines when I am feeling low,
    Grateful that in the last two years I have had the chance to meet others with hair loss and that I now know that the ups and downs of emotions is normal and that I am not going insane or that I am emotionally unbalanced!
    Pleased that I never let my hair loss stop me doing the things I wanted especially when I was younger
     
  5. pixieskull

    pixieskull New Member

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    - Depressed, suicidal
    - Unable to recognize myself and feel like a normal person
    - Lonely because I rarely leave my house
    - Unattractive
    - Angry at the world
    - Like a loser
    - Like someone everyone compares themselves to so they can feel better

    Getting tired of hearing:
    - there are worse problems
    - it takes time to get better
    - men don't care about hair loss
    All those are good intentioned, but it doesn't make me feel better anymore and then people get angry at me for not wanting to hear those things anymore.

    Lots of self-pity, because this is an unfairness that I never expected to happen to me. I just don't understand why I got this life-sentence. Just why?

    Ready to kill myself.
     
  6. pixieskull

    pixieskull New Member

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    Sometimes I think the same but all my life people have pointed out negative things about my appearance to me before I realized it
    Weight gain - pointed by an adult to me at 11
    Acne - first pimple pointed out by parents when I didn't even notice it at maybe 11 or 12
    My nose - I use it to smell and breathe. Didn't see a problem with it and didn't know a nose was supposed to look just 1 specific way
    Blackheads - pointed out by a guy
    Face asymmetry - only 1 thing is off by little but 1 person pointed that out to me
    Knees & the way I walk is also a problem that needs to be corrected to some

    Some are problems yes but I never received a break from having to correct my appearance. Lots of people do it and lots of people are told the same, I know this. I just feel so beaten down because as you can see the solutions went from things that are more simpler to correct to surgery to now hair loss which I can't find a solution. People notice and respond to appearance and beautiful people get treated better.
     
  7. Leelees

    Leelees Established Member

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    I am:
    -angry
    -embarrassed at times
    -sad
    -dejected
    -sometimes accepting
    -sometimes hopeful that it will grow back
    -envious of others with thick, healthy hair
    -shocked thinking about years ago when I had too much hair and I hated it. What I wouldn't give for that now
    -relief that it is wintertime so that when I go out, I can cover it with a hat
    -sad missing the feeling of wind blowing through my hair and it having a lovely windswept look after. These days, it looks like a horror show if I did that.

    -trying to have peace. Am hopeful that 2016 will bring some
     
  8. ollie845

    ollie845 New Member

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    How do you feel about your hair loss

    I feel old, ugly, depressed, angry, suicidal. I do not like the feel of wigs on my head. To make matters worse I have facelift scars which the world will see. I am downright disgusted!!!!!! May not survive this! Total unacceptable to me :-(((( Sudden onset of shedding for 4 months now. Looking at my scalp. Very Very Sad. I want to not wake up. These thoughts are my constant companion. I am supposed to start a new job that is very difficult. Then to sport wigs....UGH..I may not take job. Not that I can afford not to work. At a loss. Devastated.
    HELP!
     
    #48 ollie845, Jan 19, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2016
  9. CurlyQ

    CurlyQ Established Member

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    Like crap! My hair looked like crap today, but I really didn't care. I think most people don't notice us as much as we'd like to believe. Most individuals are so absorbed with themselves and their life, they really don't have time to check out hairlines and such. However, those of us experiencing hair loss notice EVERYONE'S hair!! Right???! LOL Doesn't matter if they are old, young, or somewhere in-between....I notice!! I even look at babies and toddlers' hair. How crazy is that???

    My hair is a short pixie due to thinning. If it gets worse, I'll buzz the remaining hair and start sporting some beautiful wigs. Might as well have gorgeous hair than funky looking hair.
     
  10. mommybetts

    mommybetts Established Member

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    Ollie, I can definitely remembering feeling what you are feeling now about 6 months ago. It was the darkest place I have ever been in my entire life. Please, watch funny movies, talk to a safe person about this, and keep coming back to this forum to hear what others girls have to say. I am very sorry you are going through this. Have you tried any treatments? I know that they are on the cusp of finding a cure for this, just hang in there someway somehow.
     
  11. sunlit

    sunlit Established Member

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    Devastated to be honest. It hasn't completely controlled my life because I've got into a happy new relationship since losing most of my hair, but I really never feel attractive now, even if my boyfriend thinks I am. I feel much less confident than I did before. I'm much shyer socially. And I avoid photographs like the plague.
     
  12. hairlosshelp

    hairlosshelp Established Member

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    2 of my biggest battles my whole life have been my appearance and my mental health. Hair loss has completely exacerbated the problems I was dealing with around the years that I was just starting to make progress (my 20s, feeling fine about my appearance and life only to get this). I'm not sure I'll ever reach a point of acceptance that is genuine. I sometimes wish I could "opt-out" without affecting my family.
     
  13. Toepick

    Toepick New Member

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    I completely relate to this, it helps to not feel like the only one.

    I completely relate. I am used to the natural look, not worrying about my hair, then half of it fell out this year and it continues to accelerate. I hate anything on my head but "practice" wearing caps and wigs but they make my head throb. Some days I think, shave it off and be okay with it, and other days I do not feel so bold. The grief process is simply that, a process, so be kind to yourself, every day. You deserve it.

     
  14. sarvnaz123

    sarvnaz123 Established Member

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    I also feel angry, and that life is not fair. I also have felt mad at god. I have hated my genes. When dealing with hair loss, it looks like I can't see anything good about myself. IT really drags me down in to a dark place. At my worst, I thought about killing myself and ending everything too. I have been able to find some success with Rogaine and that has really helped me cope with life, but I still have high shed periods where the depression sets in again.
    I really wish we were not doomed just because it is in our DNA and could do something about this.
     
  15. hairlosshelp

    hairlosshelp Established Member

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    Just a mini rant...

    The other day I was braiding my cousin's hair and I noticed that when I divided it into 3 sections that the density was 3x times my current hair! It's such a common thing in my family...thick, silky, voluminous straight black hair. And I used to have that. It's sad that seeing my cousins is a reminder of what I've lost...what was robbed from me. It's ****ing unfair.
     
  16. Wideningpart31

    Wideningpart31 New Member

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    So glad there are other women out there who feel like I do!
    My emotions range from panic, depression, sadness and insecurity. My hair has never been my crowing glory, but I hate hate hate looking at my scalp. It seems to taunt me with it's glow like "you are missing hair here".

    I especially hate it on rainy days because my hair goes flat/unwieldy and exposes my scalp even more. I look at other women my age (30) swishing their hair and cannot help but feel jealous that my hair is on my mind pretty much every day.

    I feel like I am being silly because there are worse things to be afflicted with but i cannot help it - my hair loss causes me great anxiety.
     
  17. ksmon48

    ksmon48 New Member

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    emotional rollercoaster

    Like everyone else on here I have gone through an entire range of emotions.
    - denial
    - panic
    - desperation
    - frustration
    - depression
    - anxiety
    - embarrassment
    - self-hatred
    - jealousy/envy
    - despair
    - anger (sometimes rage)
    - shame
    - anger for feeling shame over something I can't control
    - pride (for being able to walk out of my house with nothing more than peach fuzz on my head despite my fear and embarrassment)
    - hope (for self-acceptance and emotional healing)
    - I'm not sure what to call it but ... a desire to educate people

    I have advanced Androgenetic Alopecia and made the decision to start wearing wigs (when I feel like it) with the coming of the new year. This has been a long time coming and a very agonizing decision. Who am I kidding? I'm terrified! I live in very small community and it will be noticed. The thing is, I don't want to spend the rest of my life living in fear, trying to hide my hair loss OR the choice to wear wigs. So I'm going to be very open about it with anyone who's curious. If I want to wear a wig, I will. If I don't, I won't. I can't be a prisoner to it. I just can't. It's my head and my choice.

    I'm not delusional. I know I will still have very bad days, but I refuse to be destroyed by this. When things get really bad I have a good cry because I've earned that right. Then I try to remind myself that there is always someone out there who has it worse. Always.

    Wishing all of you a new year full of hope and peace.
     
    #57 ksmon48, Dec 22, 2016
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2016
  18. Chillynorway

    Chillynorway Member

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    I feel
    - sad
    - hopeless
    - tired
    - ugly
    - scared of the future
    - angry
    - anxious
    - shame
    - envy of others

    I feel like my body is broken and faulty, and I have the insides to match. I want to just buzz my hair of and wear a wig, but I know I won't have the courage yet.
     
  19. eggplant

    eggplant Established Member

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    I feel sad and depressed almost all the time. My hair was the one thing that I liked about myself and now I feel like I'm definitely an "ugly girl" now because it even affects how my face looks because the volume is gone and now it has started to recede -- it's like I don't look like the same person anymore but someone else who is uglier.

    It distracts me at work and while I drive because I keep checking it. And my hair care has gotten so bad in recent months that I rarely brush it and definitely am not washing it enough -- because I can't handle looking at how thin it is when it's brushed or wet. So now I've got all these permanent matted sections that I just try to hide because I would never be willing to cut them. Aside from getting food or going to work, I rarely leave the house, I just can't see the point in doing anything.

    I'm not longer capable of experiencing any real form of joy. Any time something positive happens I immediately remember the hairloss and it sucks all the happiness out of me.
     
  20. Maasai

    Maasai Member

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    Have you thought about wearing supplemental hair, eggplant? It seems to help a lot of women move forward and not be consumed by hair loss 24/7.

    I've felt (and still feel) a lot of the same things you are feeling, but since learning I have have hair loss I am trying to be open to other options such as shaving my head and wearing a wig for when it gets bad someday. Also, I'm contemplating doing some funky hairstyles I've been putting off trying such as dying it a wild colour or doing a long pixie cut while I still have some hair.
     

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