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How Do You Live With It????????????????????????????????

Discussion in 'Living with Androgenetic Alopecia' started by Elle, Feb 10, 2018.

  1. Elle

    Elle New Member

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    how do you live with the jealousy that comes with this condition from hell? I am jealous of the woman is see in pictures... myself! Because I look nothing like that anymore! I am jealous of everyone but mostly of my sister. She has a perfectly normal and beautiful head of hair, what I used to have, and a husband and beautiful child. I feel that my dreams of marriage and motherhood will never happen now that I look like this. I know it is not my sisters or anyone else’s fault that this curse has happened to me. But how do I deal with the jealousy???? I pray all the time God please take this envy away from me; help me accept this. Yesterday I went to get another wig shop and tried on wigs for an hour and nothing worked for me.
    Two little girls stared at me as I was removing and trying on wigs. Will I ever adjust to this life? Will I ever feel normal or even slightly pretty again?
     
  2. Tara49

    Tara49 New Member

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    Elle - its half term - go and get sorted with a real hair wig with a natural parting and my personal advice is wear 24/7 although most don't. I do because I don't think of it as a wig - it's 'my hair'.
    Are you in London?
     
  3. Elle

    Elle New Member

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    I am in the U.S. I think part of why it’s hard for them to fit properly is because I do still have quite a bit of hair. It is horrible looking but I just am not to the point of shaving it all off yet. So I put it under a wig cap.
     
  4. mcat11

    mcat11 Established Member

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    As someone who spent a load of time on the mens forums--'most' men don't care as long as a good wig/they don't see the hair loss...they care more about the body being fit and having a nice/decent face.
    Most (generally) care about the body being slim or fit.
    Some men do care about the hair but generally speaking more were concerned about body i.e. not overweight/fat.

    I personally am not really worried about hair with men impression (because i would get a fantastic wig if my hair continues to go down hill)...its more about my personal lifestyle and my own ego of having to wear a wig.
    I LOVE my hair and its part of me and my identity.
     
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  5. Elle

    Elle New Member

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    Definitely part of our identity. It’s so hard.
     
  6. Wally8

    Wally8 New Member

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    I agree, it is so hard. Maybe I'm 'lucky' in that my hair has always been horrible- curly, frizzy, fine.... and then the Alopecia Areata started and now its thin as well. I'm coming around the idea of getting a topper, I'm hoping it will be better then my hair has ever been and hopefully make me feel more confident? But haven't been into a wig shop..... I really do agree that most guys care about fitness and figure. I'd like to think the nice guys/marrying types would be able to look passed it?
     
  7. Wally8

    Wally8 New Member

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    Sorry it autocorrected my post to alopecia acreta, I have androgenic alopecia as well. I'm also married and my husband swears he would have married me regardless. It's more about first impressions-i.e. get a wig and then once they love you anyway you can tell them and they won't mind.... well that's what I would have done if I had been single when diagnosed anyway
     
  8. Elle

    Elle New Member

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    I just feel like it’s impossible to look feminine with this condition. I feel like I could have the best figure in the world and the most beautiful face but my hair would ruin it.
     
  9. Kamille

    Kamille Member

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    Believe it or not, you'll get used to this problem. I was desperate at the beginning, about 7 years ago. I'm better now. I accept the fact that I am losing hair. It takes time, but then you feel better. I remember people being really positive and I thought I would never think like them, and now I do. I juste live my life. I have less hair than before, I don't mind. I'm a bit upset of course, I will certainly wear a topper soon, but it doesn't affect me too much. I am more worried for my poor vision for instance. You probably just need some more time.
     
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  10. Elle

    Elle New Member

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    I hope time will help. I feel very discouraged because I have been depressed over this going on three years and I have read posts where people say they are depressed over this for years... as in like their whole lives... 20 years plus.
     
  11. Fros

    Fros Member

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    I am 32, single and do not have a great body and my thick hair was they only thing I had going for me (apart from my lovely personality ) So I get what you are saying.

    It's just difficult to look at photos of myself from 2 years ago and compare it to now when I barely have 1/4 of the hair I had and I get so jealous! I also get jealous of other people or angry when they complain about their seasonal hair loss and I want to scream at them.

    There is this guy I like and there is a bit of flirting going on and then I get stressed and get withdrawn because how can he like me when I'm gonna be bald in 3-4 months ?? I think I am going to be forever alone because who will find a woman that has no hair attractive? These are my thoughts on my bad days ....

    And then there are moments/days when I look at myself in the mirror and say "why are you stressing out ? It's all gonna fall out no matter what you so why ruin your mood ".

    It's like I am 2 people in one and it's so frustrating and tiring all the time.

    I find that going online to some yoitubers videos that have Androgenetic Alopecia helps me on bad days because I get some courage from them so try doing that?

    I am also looking into getting my first topper at the moment to ease into wearing hair and it makes me have hope while I am looking at hairpieces because there are so many and they look good!

    I know you said you are not ready to shave it off but I keep saying that I will shave it off when toppik can no longer help me because I refuse to continue to live in denial or hope that it will grow back .... I think it will be liberating.
     
  12. Elle

    Elle New Member

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    Hopefully the guy you’ve been flirting with will be accepting of it. I can honestly say I have had plenty of men interested in me even since this hair loss BS started, just none of them have been right for me. But I wonder if I’d showed them how bad my hair has gotten if they’d have even given me the time of day.
     

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