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It’s One Of Those Kinds Of Days (struggling)

Discussion in 'Women's Alopecia Universalis & Totalis' started by Sophie C, May 25, 2018.

  1. Sophie C

    Sophie C New Member

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    hi friends! So I am a 15 year old struggling with total hair loss and I recently got my new human hair lace front wig. I realize how lucky I am to be able to get this, but I’m just having one of those tough days. I miss in a sickening way the way I used to able to part my hair any way I wanted. Summer is coming up and I want nothing more than to get my hair wet and not have to worry about it. I dream of having super long hair. I miss being able to wash my hair every day because I hate the scent tha5 develops on the wig after a week. I want to put my hair up in a bun or a ponytail. I want to be able to dance with the same hairstyle as all the other girls in my ballet class. I feel so ugly when I don’t have it on and it has been causing me a lot of distress since summer is coming. I just feel like I somehow would be so much happier and my life would be just a tad easier if I had my hair.
     
  2. Anita

    Anita New Member

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    Hi Sophie,

    Oh my heart goes out to you. You are so young to have to go through total hair loss. For this I am truly sorry. I will say this though Sophie, that if I had to choose between let’s say blindness, or going deaf or hair loss, I would choose hair loss. I could still see my loved ones beautiful faces, and hear their laughter, join in sing-alongs...I guess what I am trying to say is that there is so much joy that can be found in life....and guess what, hair is really just an accessory. You can change your look with different wigs...Maybe even have some fun with different looks. Think about all the wigs that Kyle, Kim and Khloé wear unabashedly. It wigs, bang clip-ons and extensions are good enough for them, then we can make them work too! You know what? I lost my outer eyebrows too, and now they are tattooed. My eyelashes are got really skimpy—-so I wear fake eyelashes. I even had eyeliner tattooed on....and you know what? I feel better about myself. Now when I get up to go out early, I can put on some lipstick and blush, and I am out the door.....At some point I’ll need a wig, like my mother....Funny thing though, my Mom wore wigs, and she just said she had thin hair and a high forehead. No one mentioned that she had such extreme hair loss. Who knew? I never caught on until a few years ago, when I started losing my hair. (I’m 58)...I will tell you this though- Every day before I got up, she was dressed and made up. She always (and I really mean this) looked beautiful. So find what makes you feel beautiful and confident and be the best you that you can be : ). There are too many good things to look forward to in life to let wearing a wig get in your way....I sincerely wish you the best Sophie.
     
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  3. Sophie C

    Sophie C New Member

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    Thank you so much for your kind words! I really appreciate it❤️
     
  4. DontWannaBeBald

    DontWannaBeBald New Member

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    I know exactly what you're going through. I got my first wig last week and spent hours crying over it, trying to get it to look "natural". Life has not been kind, or fair, to us. More power to you! I hope you stay strong :(
     
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  5. Iyyi

    Iyyi New Member

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    Hi there! That’s how I felt too. I’ve been wearing my wig for 3 weeks now. It’s really depressing but life must go on. Been shedding for more than a month.
     
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  6. Sophie C

    Sophie C New Member

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    It’s just been getting harder instead of easier. I would give anything I have or will ever have to get my hair back for even one day.
     
  7. Tara49

    Tara49 New Member

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    Hi Sopie
    I'm so sorry that you're going through this at such a young age. It's horrible but its not the end of the world.
    I truly do not believe that you have this for life as a cure is very close and trials ongoing.
    But for now we have to get on with it.
    I have a hair system called a Freewear which might suit you better than a wig.
    It is quite expensive but for me it's worth it. You can also get good discounts if you model for them.
    My system is made of human hair and built with mesh onto my head. It's very comfortable, I can't feel it. I wear it all the time 24 hrs a day. I shower in it, sleep in it, tie it back, clip it up, whatever. It's NOT the same as having my own hair but it's as close as possible as I really don't ever like to see myself without it and I like to wash my own hair every week, my hair dresser knows and sometimes I got there which is nice.
    I also have my eyebrows tattooed which is very fashionable so that's fine - I have some cute eyebrow wigs from headcovers which are actually amazing but I hardly ever bother.
    I wear fine natural looking lashes on the top and smudgy liner on the bottom so you don't need bottom lashes, keep the top lashes simple so that your upper and lower eyes look balanced.
    I was so very very depressed, I used to wake up every day and my heart would sink as I remembered but It does get better.
    I believe there is a facebook page for alopecins which might attract more people your age and if I could choose one of us to grow our hair back. it would be you. I promise you'll adapt - it's not an eye or a limb you've lost - its just hair.
    Tx
     
  8. Monique A

    Monique A New Member

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    You can be beautiful bald, and you can make yourself fashionable and feminine and alluring to men. I assure you, many men like the bald look on a lady if she has a feminine and fashionable style. That, and of course being a good person, to yourself and others.
    You can though, use your baldness to your advantage if you know how to be fashionable and feminine.
    I have been bald for years and it never prevented me from doing what I like, including getting married to a great guy and having children. There are plenty of bald alopecian women doing things in life they they want to do.
    Some women even shave their heads as a fashion statement. I am sure you have seen women fashion models and women rock singers who have done that, even some everyday women do that, and many guys seem to like it if the bald woman makes herself feminine and fashionable.

    Have you tried headscarves? They are more comfortable. There are so many feminine and fashionable ways to wear headscarves. I prefer headscarves to wigs.
    My husband loves me wearing my bald look but he also likes it when I wear a headscarf. My favorite headscarf style is to take a headscarf and wrap it around my head and tie it back in a ponytail, gypsy style, with long dangle earrings. I love the feminine fabrics of headscarves, the soft silk/chiffon rayon, polyester blends of headscarves, etc..
    My husband said he likes the look and feel of my headscarves better than hair. I agree.

    I always wear makeup and long dangle earrings both with my bald look and my headscarfed look, and I like wearing feminine clothes, dresses, skirts and blouses, etc..

    One thing I do when wearing a headscarf is to wear a headband grip underneath my headscarf to keep my headscarf from sliding off of my bald head.

    At any rate, you can find that you can use your bald look or a headscarf look to your advantage, if you are fashionable and dressed and accessorized feminine, you can be alluring to guys and will feel good with those styles also. Take care.
     
    #8 Monique A, Feb 16, 2019 at 3:44 AM
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2019 at 3:55 AM
  9. Tara49

    Tara49 New Member

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  10. Tara49

    Tara49 New Member

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    Hi Sophie
    How's it going now?
    I know that some ladies rock the bald look but you are only 15 and you just want to be the same as your friends.
    If you're not happy with your wig then please PM me and I'll talk you through what I have which I think will be better for you. I sleep and shower in it and wear it 24/7.
    I've never so much as had an odd look. Hopefully you're happier now. If not please feel free to reach out.
    Tx
     
  11. Iyyi

    Iyyi New Member

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    Hi Tara49! Can you share to me also what wig you’re wearing? It’s so amazing to know that you can sleep and shower with it. I’ve been wearing wig for more than 3 months now and I just wanted to try something that will make me more comfortable everyday. I am wearing a human hair wig but I need to remove it when I shower and I go to sleep. Thank you and hope to hear from you soon.
     
  12. Tara49

    Tara49 New Member

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  13. Tara49

    Tara49 New Member

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    Hi
    I've had total loss since 2015.
    I had my first system fitted in Nov 2015 and it gets replaced every 2 years so I'm on my second.
    It's a mesh which is built into your head whilst you sit and so it fits absolutely perfectly.
    They then stitch the human hair onto it. It's a long process and takes all day. If you have total hair loss then it is secured with tape. If you have partial
    Loss then it's secured by pulling your own hair through the mesh.
    The parting is natural looking and can be worn without a fringe, however, I feel more confident with a fine fringe.
    You need to change the tapes once or twice a week - I have dry skin so I manage just weekly.
    I wash it myself in the shower, it tangles more easily than natural hair so wash carefully and style as normal.
    I get a new parting every 3 months and I like to tuck my hair behind my ear so I have natural hairline sides and I change those twice yearly.
    It's really really comfortable, I actually can't feel it at all.
    It IS expensive - but I'm willing to sacrifice other things to feel ok about my hair.
    Also, if you are willing to be a model for them then discounts can be arranged.
    The lady who started the salon has had total loss since childhood.
    Google Lucinda Ellery Hairloss and you should find them.
    She will give you a free consultation and quote and she's a lovely lady.
    The best thing for me is that it's 'my hair' I never ever see myself bald and Psychologically that really helps me to be in such a good place.
    Good luck.
     

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