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Just a rant

Discussion in 'Women's General Hair Loss Discussions' started by mmacbride301, Sep 3, 2016.

  1. mmacbride301

    mmacbride301 Member

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    I find that even though I am at the beginning of this hellacious journey that I am more aware of my hair than I have ever been in my life....I feel as if I can literally feel every hair that is being shed, I am petrified and in pain to even attempt at putting my hair up. I am at a crossroads between wanting to chop it off so I don't have to feel it anymore vs being afraid if I cut it off that I may never have long hair again. As I guess everyone who is on this forum.. I am still in absolute freak out mode and it comes in waves of "I am okay"..."this is temporary"..."omg its permanent"...."I screwed up my hormones and this is my price to pay"..."everythings fine"..."oh my god there goes 20 more hairs".."why does my head feel like my follicles are on fire".."what if my biopsy results aren't accurate"


    So thats it in a nutshell so far.... my hair feels gross, my hair looks gross, I feel hideous and I can't stop thinking about my hair :shakehead: But when I read some of the stories on here I am inspired by everyones bravery. You never truly understand a situation until you walk in someone else's shoes and as someone who is newly experiencing hair loss everyone seems so brave on here and I am most definitely not. At 26 I am not ready for this... then again is anyone really ready for it?
     
  2. mmacbride301

    mmacbride301 Member

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    To both of you ladies, I have contemplated just shaving it off! I am not even kidding.. to just take away the dreaded feeling of having stray hairs all over me, its nothing but a constant reminder that I am one step closer to losing it.. haha kidding but no seriously

    I keep telling myself "if the shedding stops today I can still look somewhat acceptable" *another hair falls*

    You just reach the point.... where you are like "just all fall out or move the hell on from this horrible nightmare"...

    the thoughts of hair loss.. are literally like PMS on steroids. I feel like crying, I'm pissed off, I feel hideous, I don't want to leave the house... and then I find one strand (pun most definitely intended) of hope and boom another hair falls....

    And to just ice the cake of the hair loss I found my first grey hair today... ha ha ohhhhh the irony, hey I guess I will take grey hair over no hair!!
     
  3. alexa_

    alexa_ New Member

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    Omg. Yes, again, to all of the above.
    I have also contemplated shaving it all. And getting one of those FABULOUS gripper wigs from Follea. That hair looks awesome. *drools*.
    The only thing that consoles me is that very likely in 2-3 years the Japanese will have a stem cell-based treatment to restore hair. I've been keeping up with the updates and the treatment looks very promising. So our collective nightmare could be over.
     
  4. mmacbride301

    mmacbride301 Member

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    Do you currently use Rogaine or anything medication wise to assist in the hair loss? or are you just riding the wave :)
     
  5. rachelscott8585

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    Hi Alexa,

    Could you speak more to the stem cell therapy? In your research have you found if it will be widely available or the cost of such treatment? Can it work on someone with TE, Androgenetic Alopecia, Alopecia Areata, Alopecia Universalis, etc? I would love to hear more! :)
     
  6. alexa_

    alexa_ New Member

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    mmacbride - I don't use anything for my hair loss right now. I use topical Phytocyane (sephora) which has helped me in the past. But honestly I don't think it's doing much this time around. I am against the idea of using rogaine, personally, because I don't like the idea of increased shedding, and having to use this continuously for the rest of my life. Anyways, just a personal choice, I know it's worked great for others.

    Rachel - I learnt about these new advances in hair restoration research from the blog hairlosscure2020. Take a look.
    The company's name is Replicel I think. Or Histogen. One of these two.
    The idea is isolating stem cells from your own hair follicles, having them divide in vitro to replicate multiple times and then inject them in your scalp. The cells would then form new follicles and new hair.
    I am thinking this would be more suitable for people with Androgenetic Alopecia. It's targeted to males, mainly. From what I've read the science behind this is solid and it's all very promising.
     
  7. hairlosshelp

    hairlosshelp Established Member

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    As much as Androgenetic Alopecia is hard to deal with (and that's an understatement), I'd imagine Alopecia Areata is even more daunting. Shedding has been going on for 22 months non-stop for me (not even a single day of normal shed) and the increase in my parting width happened in 2 months. It's been a brutal journey and I'm re-starting my life this month, but everytime I see my hair, I feel like I would rather go crawl under a rock like I have done for the past 2 years. Ultimately, it's more about the hair loss itself to me and I can't imagine accepting parting with it any sooner when this is really hard. I'm with you guys that my main hope at this point is something new that will actually help us put this nightmare behind us. There's not a single day that has gone by where I haven't thought about my hair since Nov 1st, 2014. It's insane to even think that this is still going on cuz at that point I remember thinking, "oh the shedding should stop in a few weeks" and never thought it was possible to go on this long. It's sort of funny...I've styled my hair everyday for years but I've never actually *thought* about my hair. Always the same hair style that it was essentially like brushing my teeth everyday but not actually *thinking* about my teeth. Now the first thing I look at when I see my reflection is my hair. There could probably be some mark on my face and I won't even notice that until I finish fixing my hair to hide my scalp. It sucks :(
     
  8. mmacbride301

    mmacbride301 Member

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    Send prayers and positive vibes your way I don't think there really is a better kind of hair loss. Maybe it's a "pick your poison" kind of mentality. All I know is that there has to be something out there and I pray that there is some kind of relief heading everyone's way. as I said my hair loss is only 3 1/2 well now 4 months in. Again... I never thought about hair loss until I've been in this situation, but now being here.. I feel so naive for never having thought of then impact it has on everyone. All of you are so strong and beautiful :) even if it's hard to remember that
     
  9. mellie

    mellie Established Member

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    I'm right there with you all! You never know what you have until it's gone. I never used to worry about my hair before until a year ago when my shedding started and since then I've been thinking about every single day.
    Macbride - you're still early into your TE so I'm really hoping for you that it is just that, a TE, and nothing more. They say you have to wait at least 6 months to know.
    With Androgenetic Alopecia, it's like a slow painful death. You don't know how bad it's going to get and everyday you suffer from being self conscious and walking around with hair looking worse and worse everyday. My friends still tell me they can't tell and I believe then but I also know my overall "looks" have changed. I dont want to sound too vain but you know that feeling of "looking good" when you're getting ready? Now getting ready is an ordeal :( and nobody can understand what that feeling is like unless they've experienced hair loss.

    Alexa- I've been checking the blog you mentioned and also hairlosstalk. Sometimes I wonder if we're really just a few years away from a solution but it sure is the only thing that gives me hope at this time. And believe me, I will be the first person on the plane to Japan when it becomes available!!! You would think that by now we would have found a solution. We have a solution for everything esthetically speaking. I know there are wigs out there but I'm in that gray area where I don't like the way my hair looks but it's not bad enough to be wearing a full wig, although I do envy women who have made that jump and have moved and are super happy now.
     
    #9 mellie, Sep 4, 2016
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 4, 2016
  10. sarvnaz123

    sarvnaz123 Established Member

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    With Androgenetic Alopecia, you have no idea how bad it is going to get, so you really don't know what to prepare yourself for. With Androgenetic Alopecia, like Mellie said, it is like long, painful slow death. You keep wondering how bad it is going to get. You have months when things look stable, followed by another month or two where you start shedding again, and wondering if it is going to stop or if things will get better. And each year, it is different than the year before. Some years, you just shed less overall, and some years, you shed more. But overall, you know that with age, it is going to get worst, so there is really no hope there.

    I, like most of you, have been really close to shaving it all off. I REALLY wish like men, women could shave their hair off without it look odd. I just don't want to have to answer questions on why I shaved my hair off at work, and even in the family. But going through this emotional roller coaster has to stop somehow.

    I consider myself a strong person, but this hair loss has brought me down to my knees. Nothing else about aging bothers me as much as this does. I don't mind the gray hair or the wrinkles that are popping up (I am 37 going on 38). I don't mind the lack of energy. but the hair thinning bothers me a lot. I really can't deal with that.

    Like Mellie, I am also in the gray area. I have found success with rogaine in terms of hair growth, and overall hair density improvement, but Rogaine is not a miracle cure, and even on rogaine, I still experience high sheds that throws me in a crazy cycle and reminds me that Androgenetic Alopecia is a losing battle.
     
    #10 sarvnaz123, Sep 4, 2016
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 4, 2016
  11. Trinitytx

    Trinitytx New Member

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    Hi mmacbride,

    I have also been shedding for 4 months. I know it sounds insensitive, but I feel it's the worst time of my life. I am tired of crying.
     
  12. April_moon

    April_moon Member

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    LOL XD ikr lol
     
  13. Lostinhairloss

    Lostinhairloss New Member

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    I feel the same. I'm in the 5th month of shedding. I don't feel like i ever felt this bad in my entire life. Worst 5 months in 23 years. Sooo tired of the depression
     
  14. sunlit

    sunlit Established Member

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    2 and a half years into shedding here. I've accepted that it's never going to grow back, and will continue getting worse. It does get better. The hair loss doesn't necessarily get better, but you do reach a point where you stop thinking about it all the time and can feel some happiness again.
     
  15. patient_flower

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    What sunlit said.

    2 years in, no regrowth except for the brief time I used rogaine. I'm starting to accept it will only get worse and am slowly transitioning to a shorter hair cut and then a wig (keeping my bio hair in pixie cut undeneath.)

    As time goes on your expectations of your looks start to lower, and the pressure goes away. I used to torture myself because I remember what having thick hair felt like on my back, when flipping it, pulling it in a ponytail, etc. But now those memories are fading and it actually helps.
     
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  16. Geslina

    Geslina New Member

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    I don't know why, but in my past few years of gradual thinning, I've never noticed any shedding. No abnormal amount of hair in the drain, on the bathroom floor, in my brush. Just less on my head. Weird.
     
  17. Lostinhairloss

    Lostinhairloss New Member

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    Geslina i think that's what Androgenetic Alopecia is typically like. No major shedding. Those of us shedding are probably suffering from telogen effluvium (which could manifest into/unmask Androgenetic Alopecia for a lot of us).
     
  18. MeliM

    MeliM Established Member

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    I've been having heavy sheeding for almost 5 years and was diagnosed through a biopsy with Androgenetic Alopecia . :(
     
  19. Geslina

    Geslina New Member

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    Good to hear about possible treatment with stem cells. I'd be up for that, even as a guinea pig, why not? Like someone else above mentioned, I can deal with a lot of things about aging....but losing hair? We all know how important hair is. I'm not necessarily a vain person, but I do spend a lot of time on my looks, and even more time now. I take good care of my skin, look much younger than I am, but jeez, what's the point of it all if I wind up bald?
     
  20. MeliM

    MeliM Established Member

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