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Sex and Wigs.

Discussion in 'Teens and Twenties Alopecians' started by elise, Oct 22, 2010.

  1. rivarosa

    rivarosa Guest

    I wouldn't sleep with "just anyone" either. However, it is not uncommon for women to see a guy as a potential romantic partner or someone she can have a relationship with and then realize that she was wrong (after sleeping with him). I agree that there is difference in opinion though and that whether to tell the guy or not depends on the assumptions you make about him and the dating situation.
  2. I think you should sit him down and discuss it before your in that situation. Tell him there is something you want to discuss before you get intimate.when you tell him , he's gonna be relieved its not an STD and say who cares. If he didn't notice all this time and it didn't affect him it won't affect him now. But I do think you should tell him before hand. Don't worry... And be CONFIDENT! I think when we lose our confidence are hair loss stands out more. If you make it seem like yeah you have it so what, he'll see it the same way. Good luck!!!!!
  3. rivarosa

    rivarosa Guest

    I agree that a loss of confidence is worse than a hair loss to someone who is interested in you romantically. This is such a difficult issue to deal with when you are in a relationship or just dating. God help us all.
  4. Bri

    Bri Guest

    I suppose I'm a very lucky girl in that I found and fell in love with the man of my dreams before any of my hair fell out, and he has been with me every step of the way as this progressed from being annoying, to disappointing, to downright devastating - especially when I talk about "the inevitable". My hair loss has not yet become "severe" and I already feel terrible about myself, my body, my image, just ME in general. I could not imagine having to deal with this unique brand of insecurity and dealing with a new potential relationship. I just have to say bravo for putting yourself out there and DOING it.

    If this guy has half a brain in his head he too will realize how big a deal this is for you, not only confessing that you are not only suffering from hair loss so young, but that you are also wearing a wig - something that still just feels so taboo to unaffected people! Dealing with all of that, and being able to admit that this is a part of who you are to someone you want to like and want you is a bold, brave move.

    That being said, however difficult it is going to be I really think it would be best to get this out of the way before there is any sex.

    Unless you are looking for a hookup, sex is more than just being with someone physically - you are with them emotionally as well. Sex within the bounds of a relationship is supposed to be a very intimate experience.

    The only thing equally, if not more intimate and private than your wig should be your heart and body. Wigs come and go, but your integrity and your self respect are with you for as long as you hold on to them. Any man freaked out by a part of what is also a very intimate and unchanging detail of your life and who you are, even if he is respectful, is not worth you sharing yourself with.

    It's hard sometimes to remember, but none of us are any less of a woman because of how little hair we may have! You deserve someone who can look past what is truly an aesthetic trait and see you for who you are underneath whatever hair, or wig, or concealer you have on your head!

    You don't need his approval - He needs YOURS.

    Good luck!
  5. rivarosa

    rivarosa Guest

    I've been out of a relationship for a month now, and I totally agree with the last post. We should share our lives with men who can accept us for who we are. I suspect that fact that I am wearing a topper played a part in my ex boyfriend's decision to leave me. I will never find out now, but I can't care less. Somehow wearing a topper made me stronger in the face of such experiences. No matter how much I care about the person, the minute he makes even half negative or sarcastic comment about my hairpiece or bio hair, I'm out of the door. We all deserve better, ladies.
  6. kellyb

    kellyb Guest

    l lost my bf because of my thinning hair.of course he didnt tell me why ,but after 4 years u know the guy you're with....and l still have some hair left,dont wear wigs ,just toppik.it's frustating for me though,so l dont kow what to tell you coz l would feel very very insecure.why dont you wear bonded wigs,so you could sleep and have kinda normal life,just mantaining the wigs every month...l would do that l guess.good luck sweety

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