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So much anger and depression from this.

Discussion in 'Living with Androgenetic Alopecia' started by hairlosshelp, Jul 30, 2015.

  1. hairlosshelp

    hairlosshelp Established Member

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    It's now up to 9 months of hair loss and the shed seems to have increased. I just wanted a place to rant because I don't know if there's any advice that anyone can really give me to help with this. I just feel like a big victim in all of this and I don't want to feel like that anymore but it's so tiring and draining dealing with this. Over the last 9 months I think I've had about 4 good days. One was Christmas, the other was NYE, New Years and then when I received my thesis mark because I got 96.7% which was a shock to me. My birthday was really terrible this year. Other than that it's just been such a blur...it surprises me when it's like nearly the end of summer and nothing really positive has happened since.

    I feel so disassociated from my body too, like I constantly feel like I'm just a floating orb of thoughts. I think because I've just reached the point where I hate everything about it. I look at models all the time and wish I was one of them instead. I kind of dealt with something like this for a few months in 2012 (unrelated to hair loss) and it was such a struggle coming out of that. Things had gotten better by August but it was still such an uphill battle to fully recover from it and I think it took around March to recover from that episode of depression. I know wishing is futile but I always try to imagine myself in a happy place though it's like moving goal posts. September has always been "my month" in terms of good luck, great energy, positive happenings.

    I'm hoping I can wake up before 10 am in the morning and have a good productive day. At least ONE small step.
     
  2. JustMeS

    JustMeS Established Member

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    Hi hairlosshelp.

    I'm sorry to hear about your shed. I know how hard and frustrating it can be. The best advice I can give you is try to take one day at a time, and not worry too much about the future. I know it seems hard but it's not impossible to do!

    Other than that try to relax, stress won't help your hair. Easier said than done I know, but it can really help.

    Good luck!
     
  3. hairlosshelp

    hairlosshelp Established Member

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    Thanks for your reply! I'm trying really hard. It's disappointing when you try to be optimistic but it just doesn't let up.
     
  4. labellavita1985

    labellavita1985 Experienced Member

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    hairlosshelp,

    Have you heard of the serenity prayer? It's from the 12 step program. It goes "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." It helps me to think of it sometimes. It is my personal opinion that everything comes down to acceptance. Of course, it's easier said than done.

    Hang in there :)
     
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  5. maebee

    maebee New Member

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    Hair loss hurts with an acute pain like no other. I had been blessed with a tremendous amount of hair and after going through a few years of major hair shed, I am a shadow of what I once was. I was able to find the source of my problems with the help of an endocrinologist and many many blood tests. I still have major patches of loss but I feel empowered knowing what I am fighting and knowing I have slowed it with the help of proper treatment. Repeat after me: I AM NOT MY HAIR!! Sending love and hugs :0)
     
  6. hairlosshelp

    hairlosshelp Established Member

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    Thanks girls! It's just really frustrating to go through this because of my own personal history (like nothing ever seems to go right for me - I was already dealing with some other issues and so close to getting my life together and this happens and basically sets back any progress I made over the last 5 years). All my friends lives are going so well atm, it's hard to be the only one who's 25 and still doesn't have ANYTHING together.
     
  7. hairlosshelp

    hairlosshelp Established Member

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    There really doesn't seem like there's ANYTHING to look forward too. It's been such a struggle this year, I can't even envision myself being happy in the future because of this. This is just so unfair and I'm tired of feeling like the victim and this negative **** that keeps happening to me. I wish I could just be reborn into a better life...I needed to rant because I feel depressed as **** but didn't want to keep starting new threads...
     
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  8. Lat1

    Lat1 Member

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    Sorry that you are so down. It's healthy to express and voice your emotions. Getting your frustrations out is part of your mission. May you find strength to Concur this in the best way for you. I began to find peace once I made my decision on the best way for me to move forward. This led to excitement as I began looking forward to what may come. We all have ups and downs and figuring out how to make this turn into the best possible situation for you may help. It's such a frustrating condition to have. Best wishes
     
  9. hairlosshelp

    hairlosshelp Established Member

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    Thank you both so much for your lovely comments! You know I feel like when you're facing other issues in life you can just avoid exposing yourself to anything that will trigger depression, etc (not in all cases, but at least in a decent amount of them) but with hair loss you can't just forget because the hair is just everywhere. I'm going to try to keep it off my mind the best I can for the next 35 days at least!!

    Thank you, Sarah! I was mostly just very surprised at the results because I had to constantly force myself to work on it and even wake up every morning. When I submitted it I was really afraid the whole time that I made a giant mess up or something, so I was really just very shocked.
     
  10. Barbarina

    Barbarina Established Member

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    If you dont mind me asking - how old are you and what were triggers of your hair loss according to endocrinologist.
    Funny - in a month time I am off for holidays to the Domenican Republic ;-)
     

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