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This is harder then anyone knows :(

Discussion in 'Teens and Twenties Alopecians' started by Taybug98, Sep 3, 2012.

  1. Taybug98

    Taybug98 Guest

    So last time my spots were getting better. for awhile now, i have been completely fine. NO spots :) But i have noticed my eyelashes getting thinner which frightens me:( And i have been shedding. I just found a spot :( I am so afraid of losing everything! All of my hair on my body :( Not getting married.. Dying alone... No one accepting me :( Just starting high school and only being 14 makes it worse.. I haven't told anyone about this and i just can't take it anymore! somebody please help!
  2. somegirl

    somegirl Guest

    Dear Taybug,
    I can imagine this is breaking your heart and taking a toll on your self esteem.
    I'm sure you are beautiful, inside and out, and that regardless of what happens with your hair, people will always see that.
    There are things we just can't control and we must not let them control our lives. You are so much more than your hair (I'm writing this for myself as much as I am for you). If it gets bad (and it may do just the opposite) you can always wear a wig (I have an amazing wig that looks better than most of my friends real hair :)). So many women use extensions or toppers, it's no different than anything else women do to enhance their looks. I say if Christina Hendricks can, so can I.
    I know this hurts terribly, but try not to worry about the future, deal with it one day at a time.
  3. dancer

    dancer Experienced Member

    Oct 7, 2011
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    Hi Taybug!
    Sorry to hear your Alopecia Areata is back, big big hugs.I really understand how you feel as I was about the same age as you when I became AT and went on to Alopecia Universalis, but remember most women recover from Alopecia Areata I am part of that 1% who end up as Alopecia Universalis, so there is loads more hope than despair:) Also hereditory factors (its in my family) play a part.
    I am married, I have two grown up children, a good social life so there is no need to be afraid, peole love and like you for who you are not your hair and from these unpleasant experiences, I believe you become a more compassionate stronger individual, all this may seem unlikely at the moment but I remember having the same concerns as you.

    I agree with Somegirl it is about taking control of it not letting it control you.It takes time to adjust and it is difficult at your age when so much else is changing in your life. Can you hide your spot with hairbands, they are in fashion and there are some very pretty ones about and I know if you feel secure that noone can see the spot it makes going about your every day life easier. Have you told your parents? There are treatments for Alopecia Areata and maybe this could be an option for you if you saw a derm.

    I didnt have anyone to talk to when I first lost my hair, I felt really alone even though my family were really supportive. I just wonder if you have a school councillor or even be fefered by your GP to someone. Sometimes it helps to talk through these things with someone who is not related.
    We are all here for you!:) I think you are a brave young lady ;)
    Sara ;)
  4. CiaraWooolf

    CiaraWooolf Member

    Nov 4, 2011
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    Hi Taybug,

    As a fellow hair loss gal (I suffer from Androgenetic Alopecia) I can see *exactly* how you feel. I started loosing my hair at about 18 but my family never supported me. I went through college hell always alone and hiding and I thought I couldn't make it. I can't tell you how strong you must be to endure this even younger than I was.

    There is no 'why did this happen to me?' answer. (Believe me, I've asked!!!) It just did. I felt the sooner I accepted it the easier it got (although it took me 10 years...) It's never easy.
    Today I wear a topper that is more beautiful than my hair was and I have a boyfriend who loves me and wants to marry me. The people who are worth it won't look twice at your hair, unless your hair is breaking your heart and you need help to handle it.

    Please understand that more and more women have thining and alopecia. There will come a day that wearing a wig or a topper is as 'natural' or 'accepted' as wearing fake teeth, fake boobs... My best friend has fake boobs and I never even remember it when she's with me. This happens with our hair too.

    Having said all this, the hair loss and the toppers, wigs, etc is only your concern. No one has anyhing to do with it unless you want to share it. I find rude that someone feels 'obligated' to tell me my hair is tinning...! I could never tell them they're fat, for example, because it's none of my business.

    Please stay strong. It's a rough path I know but you never know how strong you are until these things happen.

    Best wishes
  5. mycurlyhair

    mycurlyhair Experienced Member

    Apr 29, 2012
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    I am so sorry you are feeling like this. Have you looked to see if there was a support group in your area? Have you tried the cortisone shots? I do not have Alopecia Areata but have heard of the shots helping people who have. Hang in there hun, your friends will accept you for who you are!! There are some great wigs on there too, do a you tube search and watch videos, it will give you some hope. Some of the wigs are so much better then HH and not noticeable at all!
  6. Taybug98

    Taybug98 Guest

    thank you all so much ! it is comforting to know there are others to be there for me <3
  7. Nilli57211

    Nilli57211 Established Member

    Jul 9, 2010
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    I am sorry for what you are going through. No matter what anyone says, I think that the girls who start losing hair as teenagers have it much harder than women who start losing it when they are older. I started losing my hair at 16 or so, and it really sucked because my thick hair had been a huge part of my identity. It's the worst, because at that age, you're already insecure and already have problems - and hair loss just makes it so much worse. I'm now 28 and have mostly made my peace with it, but it's not OK and never really will be.

    I've had people (of course people who have no experience with hair loss) tell me that I shouldn't be so upset about it, that it's really not a big deal. Someone even had the nerve to tell me that I should be GRATEFUL that it's just hair loss, and not something like cancer. Of course the woman who said this was a 64 year old woman who still had a full, thick head of hair and NO understanding of what I was going through. This is just sheer ignorance, and it is shameful, really.

    It's really hard for me to watch TV shows and movies where the women have thick, beautiful hair like I once had. I was watching an old episode of Boy Meets World the other day, and I really wanted to cry looking at the Topanga character and her TONS of hair.

    But there are several companies working on treatments. You're so young, so in your case there is a very good possibility that something is going to be available before you graduate from college. I've accepted that I will have to spend the rest of my 20s self-conscious about my hair, but I am hopeful and optimistic that I will get my hair back sometime in my 30s (hopefully sooner rather than later).
  8. Glennlax12

    Glennlax12 Guest

    I know exactly how you feel

    I know exactly how you feel. Over the past summer I lost all my hair I am 14 too! I now wear a wig. I thought after I felt confident with my wig I started losing my facial hair like eyelashes and brows also my forearm hair. The forearm doesn't really matter cuz I never had much hair there anyway. But the eyebrows and lashes were one of the hardest things ever. The best way to make your brows look better is through make up. I went to a makeup store with my mom and got a make over kinda but just my brows in the end they looked great and I felt much better! I now use a pencil to draw them in and the few hairs left I use a mini brow mascara that defines the hairs more! For the lashes I use mascara from a brand called benefit called they're real! And it is really great and helps a lot eventually I might need to go to fake lashes instead. It will get better I promise really hope this helped I know exactly how hard it is.
    #8 Glennlax12, Jan 24, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 2, 2014

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